Ten real submissions, ten photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Double-teaming the “help” with my dad while we are both wearing matching bow ties and making the pledges video it while doing bows ‘n toes. Then reporting the “help” to immigration for not getting us off. TFM. –North Carolina
Only cool if you were also listening to the “Decision Points” audiobook through a $50,000 speaker system while smoking Castro’s personal stash of cubans and trading oil futures.
Made shitloads working at Brooks Brothers, stole just as much. TFM. –Maryland
Proposed to the slam by giving her a poem I wrote when I was 13 addressed to my future wife along with the ring. She got very excited, screamed “Yes!” with a voice of pure passion, and gave me a kiss so sweet and tender that even a eunuch would’ve gotten a boner. As she started to call her parents, my pledge brothers busted in the room and we proceeded to laugh hysterically at her while shouting “NOT” in unison. TFM. -Tennessee
The best TFMs shatter hearts and ruin innocent lives.
Having sexual intercourse with the elderly, because Alzheimer’s patients don’t make credible witnesses in a court of law. TFM. -Michigan
There’s a special place in hell for people like you.
Sperrys and Natty, croakies and hoes. We’ve got tons of money, and Vineyard bows. Yachts and mansions, golfing and blow. This is how the life, of a fratstar should go. TFM. –Washington
I know a hit when I hear one, and this is a hit.
My advisor said my resume should grab the company’s attention, so I listed my dick, my balls, and my word as references. TFM. -California
Unless you’re applying for a job with Scarface, you’re fucked.
Dealer at the Atlantis got blackjack two hands in a row. I pointed to my “Back To Back World War Champs” shirt and asked that fucking GDI how he likes those apples. TFM. –Ohio
I think it’s pretty clear who came out on top.
Took the slam out to dinner. I ordered for both of us: steak for me and chicken parm for her, both raw. She got botulism. Had to demote her to slampiece #2 after she puked on my steak and wined about going to the ER. TFM. –Tennessee
Empathy is not one of your strong suits.
BREAKING a foreign exchange student’s VAGINA. Thus creating a hospital bill over $17 GRAND! TFM. –California
Note to self: broken vagina costs $17,000.
One! One slut! Two! Two sluts! Three! Three sluts! Four! Four sluts! Five! Five sluts! I’m Count Fratula and that’s how many bitches I banged during Finals Week. TFM. –Missouri
Zero! Zero truth to this! Also, I think the count had a serious drug problem.
That’s the exact same blowjob-receiving stance I use.
It’s all fun and games until you make your pledges dance together in tutus and one of them likes it.
Feeding Doritos to your brother. TFM.
“But dad it’s my frat’s crest. We are brothers for life.” -Explaining his tattoo to his ashamed father.
That’s right, stretch him out. Get in there nice and deep-like.