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FAIL FRIDAY: Against All Odds

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Below is the worst reader-submitted content of the week in the form of ten TFM’s, 20 photos, and four videos. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but God sees all shame.

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

Regularly waking up butt naked in a dumpster with a live hamster in your bunghole. TFM.

This is one of the most common signs of alcoholism.

Filling a Super Soaker up with your semen over the course of three weeks then taking it to lineup and spraying unruly pledges. TFM.

Odds of your charter being revoked are 3-to-1 in Vegas.

When your sex playlist consists of Boy George and Marilyn Monroe. TFM.

Pretty conflicting vibes here for love-making music IMO.

Riding the bus in nothing but a trench coat to see what it feels like to be poor. TFM.

Truly a man of the people.

Naming your penis Mr. Bigglesworth and quoting scripture while you take part in erotic asphyxiation. TFM.

Naming your ding dong after Dr. Evil’s cat is next level psychopathy.

Blaming it on an old sports injury when you prejac in your pants while making out. TFM.

What fuckin’ sport causes you to pre in your pants, son?

Building a snowman just to force your least favorite pledge to participate in intercourse with it. TFM.

This is where the term “blue balls” comes from according to history books.

Kidnapping the TA’s cat and sending him a ransom note threatening to decapitate it if he doesn’t give you all the answers to the final. TFM.

Jesus dude just use a test bank like a normal person.

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry? Have you ever needed something so bad you can’t sleep at night? TFM.

Had to Google this. They’re Brandy lyrics. The train is off the tracks.

Walking into the drunk tank, taking your dick out and screaming “Allahu Akbar!” at the rest of the inmates so they know not to fuck with you. TFM.

That’s one way to get shanked in your sleep.

CHECK OUT THE TFM STORE FOR NEW SHIRTS

Keep your hands to your goddamn self.

Keep your hands to your goddamn self.

FREE THAT SMALL ANIMAL YOU MONSTER.

FREE THAT SMALL ANIMAL YOU MONSTER.

Lock. Her. Up.

Lock. Her. Up.

Sweet Lord, why?

Sweet Lord, why?

This dude is a mess.

This dude is a mess.

Kids can't even spell.

Kids can’t even spell.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Sweet jorts, party boy.

Sweet jorts, party boy.

Pull yourself together, man.

Pull yourself together, man.

That is, in fact, not frat.

That is, in fact, not frat.

Cool boulder.

Cool boulder.

#YetiButts not just for the ladies anymore.

#YetiButts not just for the ladies anymore.

Collin gonna cook up that crack.

Collin gonna cook up that crack.

Seth going to keep the house fit for all the goobers.

Seth going to keep the house fit for all the goobers.

Dab on the haters, Stephen.

Dab on the haters, Stephen.

Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab.

Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab.

Connor the Coordinator.

Connor the Coordinator.

Quentin you fuck.

Quentin you fuck.

Comfy and cozy.

Comfy and cozy.

Man down.

Man down.

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Chaser

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, unbiased Rockets fan, fair-weather Astros fan, and sad Texans fan who attended the 2017 Masters.

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