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FAIL FRIDAY: Inauguration Day

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Below is the worst reader-submitted content of the week in the form of ten TFM’s, 20 photos, and four videos. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but God sees all shame.

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

When you can’t vomit without getting a raging hard-on. TFM.

You might have some internal issues, perhaps a hernia.

Forcing the pledges to look at your asshole during every lineup. TFM.

“LOOK AT IT! LOOK INTO IT!”

I haven’t paid dues in two semesters and nobody seems to notice. Not even sure any of these guys know my name. Starting to think I might be a ghost like in that movie Sixth Sense. TFM.

Really tight-knit chapter with crazy strong brotherhood you’ve got there.

Spending the entirety of King Trump’s inauguration day butt ass naked stroking my hog. TFM.

A truly disturbing image.

Haven’t taken a solid shit in over two years. TFM.

Probably something to share with your general practitioner.

Taping a popsicle stick to your penis in order to simulate a boner. TFM.

Fake it till you make it.

Instead of bedtimes stories, as a small child my father would read me the Wall Street Journal. TFM.

Guessing you are seriously lacking in personality.

I hate two things: incompetent pledges and elderly Native American women. TFM.

Not all Native American women, just the elderly. Important distinction.

Having square testicles, not round. TFM.

I just spent several seconds pondering what it would be like to have cube testies and now my day is ruined.

Wearing a Donald Trump mask while you pound out your main bitch and her telling you how yuge your dick is. TFM.

You belong in a room with padded walls.

CHECK OUT THE TFM STORE FOR NEW SHIRTS

Sharing is caring.

Sharing is caring.

We're all happy for you.

We’re all happy for you.

We all couldve gone without seeing this post.

We all could’ve gone without seeing this post.

#ambitious #legacy #tryhards

#ambitious #legacy #tryhards

I wonder what the total count is of people who got Harambe tattoos.

I wonder what the total count is of people who got Harambe tattoos.

Please, for all of us, do less.

Please, for all of us, do less.

Praying this tradition doesnt last.

Praying this tradition doesn’t last.

Its true, you cant win em all.

It’s true, you can’t win ’em all.

After this photo was taken they spanked each other for hours.

After this photo was taken they spanked each other for hours.

Man down.

Man down.

At least he made it out of the stall.

At least he made it out of the stall.

He got mummified.

He got mummified.

I count 6 qualities.

I count 6 qualities.

Getting so fucked up that you turn into a lamp. #TFM

Getting so fucked up that you turn into a lamp. #TFM

Guarantee at least one of them made this their Facebook cover photo.

Guarantee at least one of them made this their Facebook cover photo.

Squad of goobers.

Squad of goobers.

Shes clearly enjoying his company.

She’s clearly enjoying his company.

Looks like the aftermath of a prison shanking.

Looks like the aftermath of a prison shanking.

Youre* a blithering idiot, son.

You’re* a doofus.

Gonna go ahead and guess thats not true.

Gonna go ahead and guess thats not true.

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

Ratchet Interviews With Ratchet Girls

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Chaser

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is the New York Times Bestselling Author of Total Frat Move, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, and co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, a psychotic Rockets fan, fair-weather Astros fan, and sad Texans fan.

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