Ten real submissions, nine photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Having the biggest dick in the history of your family. TFM. –Nebraska
A family that doesn’t keep precise records of each male member’s penis length isn’t a family at all.
Dropping a plopper on your slam’s stomach while titty-fucking. TFM. –Louisiana
Oh man! She’s going to need a shower! A long shower!
Sneaking a dildo with “TSM” written on it into a Minor League Baseball game and throwing it at the other team’s pitcher. TFM. -Nebraska
I respect every hardcore MiLB fan that pulls a TFM with a dildo.
I got more swag than Drake, more money than Jay-Z, and more bitches than all the rest combined. TFM. -Michigan
This 100% ensures that you will never have any success in life. You will die poor and alone, your last words will be “swaggie swag swag” and the devil will pimp-slap you at the gates of Hell.
Dumb sloot asked me how I felt this morning. I said, “Better than your sore snatch!” TFM. –Maryland
Sounds like the start of a long and fruitful relationship.
Making money by taking pictures of my mom and sister’s asses while I’m home for summer break and selling them to my frat brothers and German business men. TFM. –Alabama
I do this with crotch shots of my dad and little brother.
Hitting on an incoming freshman at preview day and somehow ending up with her dad in your bed. Shit happens when you party blackout! TFM. –California
Saw a geed at my party wearing Brooks Brothers. I walked up to him, dumped my beer on him, tore his shirt off, pinched his sausage nips, cold-cocked him in the jaw, threw him down the stairs, and told him never to come back. TFM. –Pennsylvania
Seems like a bit of an overreaction.
I can’t even do the doggy style with my girlfriend because my ding dong is curved like a boomerang. Luckily her dad is a prominent white supremacist and they believe that anything other than missionary is for minorities. TFM. –Kentucky
What the fuck?
Getting “walk up to a bitch and say wanna hear a joke, women’s rights, then she slaps you in the face and you try to grab her tits and she starts walking away so you follow her with your dick out and yell obscenities at her and she threatens to call the police then your dick gets caught in your zipper” drunk. TFM. –Wisconsin
We’ve all been there, buddy. We’ve all been there.
This is the way a champion ends the night.
I will emulate this in my next composite photo.
“Maybe if I take my shirt off the bitches will be on my dick. Damn they’re leaving. Fuck it let’s dance!
Thank you to the fan that made this little gem.
Rub a dub dub, six men in a kiddie pool.
I don’t know what they’re doing, and I don’t want to know.
You don’t need a pillow for road trip napping with a neck like that.