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FAIL FRIDAY: New Year, Same Pain

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Below is the worst reader-submitted content of the week in the form of ten TFM’s, 20 photos, and three videos. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but God sees all shame. Have yourself a weekend.

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

I ate 26 asses this year. That’s a lot of butt salad. Respect my ambition. TFM.

This dude put up career numbers in 2016.

When a rando shows up to your party without booze and tries to freeload so you lead him down into the basement, bind him by his hands and feet, and tinkle on his face. TFM.

You could’ve just asked him to leave.

Catching your dad doing things with your butler when you’re 6 years old and carrying a weird homo fetish for service industry folks for the rest of your life. TFM.

This column is becoming a weekly confessionary for those of you with the most serious of issues.

Being down to snort literally anything. Coke, molly, salt, sand, PCP, whatever. Bring it. TFM.

Odds of you dying at a young age are strong to quite strong.

Shotgunning a beer before your 9am class so you can hit on the girl that sits next to you because you’ve literally forgotten how to converse with the opposite sex unless under the influence. TFM.

Jesus man that is both sad and incredible.

Paying good money to watch a couple of bears fuck in the woods. TFM.

If there’s some weird code language going on here, it’s way over my head.

Tom drinks beers. Tom slams sluts. Tom has two types of HPV. I am Tom. TFM.

Keep it real, Tom.

Commanding the handsome price of $20 for a glory hole handjob on Craigslist. TFM.

Seems like you’re lowballing yourself here, champ.

Being a sexual caterpillar. TFM.

I literally have no idea what this means.

Going to make out with my left hand while I beat with my right at the stroke of midnight pun intended on New Year’s. TFM.

Definitely counts as a New Year’s kiss, in my professional opinion.

GET THE OFFICIAL SHIRT OF FAIL FRIDAY

Frattiest bunch of fratters on the frock.

Frattiest bunch of fratters on the frock.

Man down.

Man down.

Cuddle bugs.

Cuddle bugs.

Rain drop. Drop top. Everyone hates you.

Rain drop. Drop top. Everyone hates you.

Man down, thumbs up.

Man down, thumbs up.

Happy holidays? You serious, Clark?

Happy holidays? You serious, Clark?

Kiss me you fool.

Kiss me you fool.

Respect that guy boys.

Respect that guy boys.

A face that only a mother could love.

A face that only a mother could love.

Hard af and ready to roll.

Hard af and ready to roll.

Getting a little relaxation time in on the toilet.

Getting a little relaxation time in on the toilet.

Team work makes dreams work.

Team work makes dreams work.

The weight of the world on his shoulders.

The weight of the world on his shoulders.

Scenic view.

Scenic view.

You ruined Christmas.

You ruined Christmas.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

He made wee wee in his pantalones.

He made wee wee in his pantalones.

Kick yourself in the head.

Kick yourself in the head.

Albert Einstein pledge slays.

Albert Einstein pledge slays.

You done fucked up.

You done fucked up.

Could Not Make A More Awkward Video If You Tried

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Chaser

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

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TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

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