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FAIL FRIDAY: Please No More

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Below is the worst reader-submitted content of the week in the form of ten TFM’s, 20 photos, and two videos. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but God sees all shame.

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

Being totally fine with admitting that you have thrice masturbated to Tom Brady highlight reels because Tom can’t be classified as male or female. TFM.

Pats fans are a bunch of weirdos.

Since I was a small boy I’ve wanted to be a magician and nothing will keep me from accomplishing my goal. TFM.

You’ll be turning tricks on the corner in no time.

Bad girls like bad boys so I stay steady fucked up and getting sucked up. TFM.

You’re a good rapper. You could get signed.

This little pledge went to market, this little pledge went to class, this little pledge refused to kiss his pledge brother so we made that little pledge go home. TFM.

If you won’t kiss your pledge brother, you obviously don’t understand brothership.

Are there any chicks out there with a bald fetish? I’m losing my hair but have a decent penis. TFM.

I no longer understand, at all, what motivates people to send this stuff in.

Flicking yourself in the testicles repeatedly as punishment for getting an 86 on your psych test. TFM.

That’s a B+ son. You should be fine with that, if not proud.

Cash me outside how bow dah. TFM.

Do not bring that shit into my house bitch.

I’ll be on the dance floor putting the vibe out getting all the ladies soaked this weekend. TFM.

Unless you’re actually bringing a water gun to the party, I seriously doubt that.

After six or seven beers I start to get secret gay thoughts. TFM.

Happens to the best of us. Suppress and press on.

I will spend the rest of my life trying to get Johnny Manziel to do cocaine with me. TFM.

A fulfilling life that will be, indeed.

CHECK OUT THE TFM STORE

Besties for the resties.

Besties for the resties.

Opisbo? Spell much?

Opisbo? Spell much?

Just crossed some names off his hit list like in Billy Madison.

Just crossed some names off his hit list like in Billy Madison.

Waking up will be the hardest part of his day.

Waking up will be the hardest part of his day.

Sacrilegious!

Sacrilegious!

I bet their dentist is proud.

I bet their dentist is proud, unlike their fathers.

What a pussy.

What a pussy.

Most terrifying composite photo ever.

Most terrifying composite photo ever.

"You kids like candy?" -This Guy

“You kids like candy?” -This Guy

Social media dominance.

Social media dominance.

You alright there, fella?

You alright there, fella?

She appears to be pregnant. Nothing about this scene is right.

She appears to be pregnant. Nothing about this scene is right.

Man down.

Man down.

Sometimes you just gotta crash by the toilet.

Sometimes you just gotta crash by the porcelain.

Or lack thereof.

Or lack thereof.

Ah the shame of naked barfing. Truly beautiful.

Ah, the shame of naked barfing. Truly beautiful.

I dont know what "spoon assassin" is, but it cant be good.

I don’t know what “spoon assassin” is, but it can’t be good.

Thunder buddies gotta cuddle.

Thunder buddies gotta cuddle.

WHYYYYYYY?

WHYYYYYYY?

This is what love looks like.

This is what love looks like.

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Chaser

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, unbiased Rockets fan, fair-weather Astros fan, and sad Texans fan who attended the 2017 Masters.

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