FAIL FRIDAY: Sexual Attack Helicopter

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Nice Move

Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Shooting an empty Coors Light can in your backyard with a 22…while getting a blowy. TFM.

Well, no one can accuse you of not trying.

Consoling a girl who just broke up with her geed boyfriend…by giving her tons of frock. TFM.

Well, no one can accuse you of being unsympathetic.

Wearing American flag Chubbies to meet her parents. TFM.

“You gotta be fucking shittin’ me.” -Her Dad

Got the entire lyrics to “I Believe I Can Fly” tatted on my left rib cage. It got me laid 12 times last week, by girls. TFM.

I don’t doubt this. That song is beautiful.

Dad: “Want to meet at Chick-fil-A?” Me: “Sure, mine or yours?” TFM. #franchiseowners #richaf #upwardsof3millionayearinsales #FaF

FIGHT ME. PLEASE FIGHT ME.

I get so excited when I’m putting my hand down a girl’s Norts for the first time to see if there are pubes there or not! The only thing I can compare it to is opening up a pack of Upper Deck and seeing if I got a Cal Ripken Jr. or Barry Bonds card. TFM.

This guy will be permanently institutionalized by age 25.

Family lawyer recommended I take out a 3 billion dollar insurance plan on my frock ‘n balls. TFM.

Gotta protect your most valuable assets.

My father being the father of two, my name is Ralph and my sister’s name is Lauren. TFM.

Your dad is a try-hard tool, Ralph.

Tell me y’all’s favorite fratty brands!

Who the hell are you? Nice submission. Get the fuck out of here.

I sexually identify as an attack helicopter. Ever since I was a boy, I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is impossible and I’m fucking retarded, but I don’t care. I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege liberal cunts. TFTC.

I need a beer.

I hope he woke up and his head was stuck.

I hope he woke up and his head was stuck.

Opposites attract?

Opposites attract?

Wearing a Tri Delt shirt on Cops. TFM.

Wearing a Tri Delt shirt on Cops. TFM.

Round of applause for this fuckin guy.

Round of applause for this fuckin’ guy.

Goober Town, Population: 3

Goober Town, Population: 3

Fedora + Crutch + Letters = Frat

Fedora + Crutch + Letters = Frat

Gotta give respect  to get it.

Gotta give respect to get it.

As if the rest of the photo wasn't weird enough, the gun really threw me off.

As if the rest of the photo wasn’t weird enough, the gun really threw me off.

Incredible photography skills.

Incredible photography skills.

Apparently Spiderman is a fucking loser that plays beer pong solo.

Apparently Spiderman is a fucking loser that plays beer pong solo.

You can count the fucks that this guy gives on zero hands.

You can count the fucks that this guy gives on zero hands.

Shotgunning in front of the Vatican? Pretty sure thats a cardinal sin.

Shotgunning in front of the Vatican? Pretty sure that’s a cardinal sin.

Now THAT'S how you bomb a photo.

Now THAT’S how you bomb a photo.

Sea of goobers proving that the powerpoint is dead.

Sea of goobers proving that the powerpoint is dead.

Exercising. TFM.

Exercising. TFM.

"Thanks for letting me borrow this."

“Thanks for letting me borrow this.”

You guys want some cookies?

You guys want some cookies?

Apparently he pissed in a suitcase and was banished to sleep outside.

Apparently he pissed in a suitcase and was banished to sleep outside.

"Put his Sperrys next to his head. Make sure you get those."

“Put his Sperrys next to his head. Make sure you get those.”

Da fuq?

Da fuq?

Ray Rice Is Spiderman

Hilarious Fail Compilation

Chaser

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