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FAIL FRIDAY: Spring Break Yourself

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Below are the best of the worst photos, videos and TFMs sent in by our readers this week. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but God sees all shame.

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to ross@totalfratmove.com.

I’ll tell you one thing, I’m going to be eating a whole mess of ass this spring break and nobody can stop me. TFM.

Just make sure you wear goggles.

“If you can get it up, I’ll give you anal,” she said. I responded by snorting Viagra. TFM.

That’s probably not great for your heart.

Friends call me “Candy Cane” because my dingus is shaped exactly like one. TFM.

Got yourself a fucked up dingus, do ya?

Consider anyone who hasn’t had an STD to be a virgin. TFM.

An interesting definition adjustment.

One, two, tie my boat shoes. Three, four, banging fat chicks on the floor. TFM.

Big girls need love too and everybody knows that.

Walking into class on the first day, finding the hottest chick in the room, pointing at her and saying, “I will eat your ass before this semester ends.” TFM.

It takes a bold man to make such a bold proclamation with an audience.

God damn pledges always refusing to kiss me on the mouth. TFM.

Sounds like you gave out bids to the wrong type of guys IMO.

Having some much fuck that the only way you can get it up is through milking of the prostate gland. TFM.

That’s a pretty normal condition after have too much fuck I think.

Getting arrested for public intoxication and then masturbating in the bathroom of the drunk tank. TFM.

There’s nothing else to do in there. Might as well crank down.

Refusing to bathe the entirety of spring break because you steadfastly believe that your man stench attracts members of the opposite sex. TFM.

You know what? I think you’re right. Stick with that strategy.

This looks like a fucking blast.

This looks like a fucking blast.

Well, alright then.

Well, alright then.

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY.

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY.

Your nudity disgusts me.

Your nudity disgusts me.

Big and little sex appeal off the charts.

Big and little sex appeal off the charts.

The fuck is this?

The fuck is this?

Peep her shirt though.

Peep her shirt though.

That is going to leave a mark.

That is going to leave a mark.

You alright, chief?

You alright, chief?

I dont know and I dont want to know.

I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

Hey guys Im going to let you in on a little secret youre doing too much.

Hey guys I’m going to let you in on a little secret you’re doing too much.

Lets all give a huge congratulations to Jacob.

Let’s all give a huge congratulations to Jacob.

Why in the sweet name of fuck?

Why in the sweet name of fuck?

Just enjoying the outdoors together.

Just enjoying the outdoors together.

You guys shouldve taken a hard pass on that one.

You guys should’ve taken a hard pass on that one.

Gotta sleep somewhere, I suppose.

Gotta sleep somewhere, I suppose.

Trevin gets all the pussy.

Trevin gets all the pussy.

Nah son nobody looked like that in the '80s your costume is trash.

Nah son nobody looked like that in the ’80s your costume is trash.

Crowd must've been chock full of goobers.

Crowd must’ve been chock full of goobers.

He was king of the world for a few seconds before it all fell apart.

A post shared by 🏖TFM SPRING BREAK CONTEST '17🏝 (@tfmspringbreak) on

Brian just wanted to party.

A post shared by 🏖TFM SPRING BREAK CONTEST '17🏝 (@tfmspringbreak) on

That was below the belt. Try to keep the gloves up.

A post shared by 🏖TFM SPRING BREAK CONTEST '17🏝 (@tfmspringbreak) on

Soooooooo… dead?

A post shared by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Chaser

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to ross@totalfratmove.com.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, unbiased Rockets fan, fair-weather Astros fan, and sad Texans fan who attended the 2017 Masters.

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