Columns

FAIL FRIDAY: The Ass Tat

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Woke up in a Phi Mu’s bed with shit in my pants. That completes the cycle, I have now shit myself in every sorority house on campus. TFTC.
–Missouri

This is not the cycle you should be going for.

Went and saw Harold and Kumar 3 last night. Got so high in my car beforehand that I spent $70 at the concession stand. TFM.
–Illinois

You are a pathetic and disgusting slob with shitty taste in movies.

Getting blackout drunk and hiding ices around my room so I “accidentally” ice myself the next day. TFM.
–Minnesota

Everybody, welcome Minnesota to the party.


Donating sperm to fund my alcoholism and to insure an increased number of legacies for my house. TFM.
–Texas

I don’t think donated sperm is insurable. At least not by major insurance agencies.

Knowing it’s okay to tell girls you love Taylor Swift because of the way you dress. TFM.
–North Carolina

Nope. Swing and a miss.

Late to class because your porn was buffering slowly. TFM.
–Pennsylvania

You just had to see the guy get off before heading to political science, didn’t you?

Smelling your dick after anal. TFM.
–Massachusetts

Come on, man. That is disturbing.

I don’t need dip to be a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus but I do it anyway. TFM.
–Connecticut

Why do people think dip is a sexual stimulant?

I have to get a TPM posted on here for pledgeship. Please god help me. TPM. Seriously though there’s a lot riding on this.
–South Carolina

I hope some horrible punishment awaits you, because that effort was WEAK.

I’m drunk, I just want to say hello to you Mr. Intern Pledge. I just pissed in my roommate’s shoes and ate his last chicken patty. I’ll keep you updated on this escalating situation. Ron Paul 2012.
–Alabama

Please don’t keep me updated.


Hey, bro. Will you oil my abs for me?


Russell Brand and the matching SAE twins.


Yes, that is a fraternity symbol. I verified it. This is now the worst frat tat in history.


“Just lay your fat ass down on the floor and we’ll make it on TFM!”


The Lacoste tat, the board shorts, and the girl who doesn’t know how sad he is.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you “Pike Rap”

Email this to a friend

TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

187 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More