FAIL FRIDAY: Winter Shame

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Nice Move

Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Guy caught me looking while using the urinal, so he asked me what I was doing, and I said “just sizing up the competition.” TFM.

If I catch you staring I’ll poke your fucking eye out.

Having to take steroids to make your genitals smaller so slams can fit them in their mouth. TFM.

You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do to fit those genitals in her mouth.

Never having an issue with a formal date, unless she kills herself, but then it’s her sisters’ problem. TFM.

How thoughtful.

You use a knife to shotgun a beer and I use a fucking machete. TFM.

Calm down, psycho.

I’m getting slammered, eating a slamburger with extra slayonnaise, and watching a slampede cross the street.

Next sandwich I order I’m asking for extra slayonnaise. It’s mayonnaise that helps you slay ass dragons.

Hating the Ramseys for robbing today’s fraternity men of the chance to slam JonBenet. TFM.

This was actually a TFM writer. He’s a deranged man who cares more about the fact that he didn’t get a shot at JonBenet than the fact that she was murdered.

Knowing how to smack the old throbbing wobbly on a saucy twat crumpet. English TFM.
–DeVry University

You cheeky bastard.

Packing lips of blow. TFM.

Want the ultimate numby? Start dipping cocaine.

Slipping Santa the grip. TFM.
–New Mexico

I heard Santa was a shitty pledge.

Having a scale in your room just so to make sure the slams are at the appropriate weight limit. TFM.

“So glad I got you back to my room. Now if you’ll just step onto the scale we’ll move right along to the love-making.”

This is the type of photo that can single-handedly ruin a chapter.

Keep the shot ski away from that animal on the right.

He’s just hanging out.

I get the impression this guy drools on himself a lot.

Who knew Boba Fett was a FIJI?

The guy in the back appears to be pulling his shorts back up after a sexual act.

Was he chugging lighter fluid?

Why would you do this?

Love his top. So cute.

He’s clinching pretty hard.


Pledge so hard mother fuckers wanna blackball him.

Sometimes one stall isn’t enough.

Grabbing each other’s dicks. TFM.

That actually looks semi-comfortable.

Well fuck you guys, too.

Let it all out, big fella.

Don’t fuck with this guy.

Making your player’s card resemble rush ass on Black Ops II. TFM.

Workout Buddies: A Bro Love Story

That’s good old fashioned, heart-warming heterosexual fun.

AGD: Always Getting Down

Joe Obersinner not showing up for the video shoot. TFM.

Sexual zombie chaser, to wash away the bad:

The entire first chapter of the TOTAL FRAT MOVE book is online now, read it here.



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  1. -2

    worst fucking chaser ever. i cant get hard to a girl that looks like she has herpes all over her mouth and mersa all over her body. You just ruined my jerk off session. but seriously fuck pike.

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
  2. -2

    Intern, as i sit miles in the air drinking a 1964 dom perignon while a large breasted, fine assed blonde young lady named Elle massages my cock and a stunning brunette with a dynamite suckhose for a mouth named Daniella cooks my meal of an 18 oz filet mignon with a full Maine lobster tail, i think about the struggles you must endure every day. You’re the little guy. Joe Six Pack. And i feel morally obligated to say, fuck you. Im about to touch down in Vienna, to oversee a LBO gone wrong and essentially change a bunch of filthy fucking diapers and do damage control since Austrian businessmen simply dont understand American business practices. Like those euro-trash cuntholes, you havent fully grasped (like Elle) the purpose of the Fail Friday. The comments were horrendous, and a zombie video? of any kind? really? Anyway, ill close by saying fuck you intern, and god bless america

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago

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