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Federal Authorities Raided Jared From Subway’s House In Connection To Child Porn This Morning

jared
The world was shocked to learn this morning that Jared Fogle, the skinny spokesman for Subway sandwiches, is being investigated for child porn.

Federal authorities raided his Indiana home at around 6:30 a.m. Tuesday morning with warrants in connection to a child pornography case that stems back to the Jared Foundation. A former director of Fogle’s charitable organization was arrested earlier this year for producing child pornography.

The only people who might not be shocked are his old college buddies, who were familiar with the underground porn business Fogle ran inside his Indiana University dorm. A 2007 VH1 exclusive that doesn’t look so crazy anymore explains how Fat Jared was a porn entrepreneur before becoming everyone’s beloved Sandwich Guy.

From VH1:

According to our source, while studying at Indiana University, Fogle ran a very successful pornography rental company out of his bedroom. His porn collection was vast and extensive, and Fogle took his business pretty seriously. A video would run a patron a dollar a day (cheap!), and people would come from all over to take advantage of the deal. Needless to say, Jared had enough porn to keep his customers happy.

As far as his incredible weight loss goes, it turns out it wasn’t as motivated as you would think. In fact, what got Jared hooked on Subway in the first place was laziness. The sandwich chain had opened a branch on the first floor of Jared’s dorm, and what with his busy porn company, Jared began eating the sandwiches out of extreme laziness.

As a person who has consumed a Subway sandwich before, I knew Jared had to be weird as fuck. Those sandwiches are terrible and only a truly strange person could eat a Subway footlong and think to themselves, “Damn, more of this please.”

Subway sandwiches: Keeping sex addicts and potential pedophiles healthy and fit since the early ’90s.

[via Fox 59]

Image via YouTube

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SteveHolt

"Now that's content!" - Steve Holt. Send compliments to: steveholtgoodcontent@gmail.com

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