Fiat Heir Faked His Own Kidnapping To Pay For Drug-Fueled Bender With Transgender Hooker

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Nice Move

lapo elkann fiat heir

One of my top picks for most underrated Seinfeld character is Sue Ellen Mischke, heir to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune. She gave zero fucks, walking around the Upper West Side in nothing but a bra, ginormous cannons flouting society’s conventions, making dudes crash their cars into telephone poles. Her IDGAF attitude was enviable, and I’ve always assumed that’s the kind of brazen attitude that comes with being an heiress. I fucking love it.

I don’t have much experience with heirs. Somehow, we tend to roll in different circles. The people I hang out with are people who inherit nothing from their parents except for bad cholesterol and debt, so I’m not exactly sure how heirs outside of Seinfeld are supposed to act in society. Without even doing any research, though, I think the heir to the Fiat automobile fortune has set a new low for heir reputations. Lapo Elkann tried to pull a JonBenét Ramsey and fake his own kidnapping so he could pay for a drug-fueled bender with a transgender hooker.

From Page Six:

The bad-boy grandson of Fiat founder Gianni Agnelli was busted for allegedly faking his own kidnapping following a two-day bender with a transgender escort at a Manhattan housing project, The Post has learned.

Lapo Elkann, 39, ran up a hefty tab while partying on cocaine, pot and alcohol supplied by the escort — and tried to pay it off by calling a family rep and claiming he’d been kidnapped, law enforcement sources said Monday.

Elkann — who barely survived a 2005 cocaine-and-heroin overdose that involved a transsexual prostitute in Italy — allegedly said he needed $10,000 in cash to secure his freedom from the housing project across from Bellevue Hospital.

But the family rep called the cops, and the escort was busted and charged with grand larceny by extortion after Elkann filed a police report late Saturday, according to the sources.

A subsequent investigation revealed that Elkann had used his own cellphone to call for cash and that he could have left the apartment at any time, the sources said.

The charge against the escort was dropped and detectives hit Elkann on Sunday with a misdemeanor for falsely reporting an incident. He was released pending his arraignment on Jan. 25.

I guess the big question I have for the bad boy of Fiat is: does he not have access to his own money? He needs a “family rep” – whatever the fuck that is – to help him get access to ten G’s? What a soft ass heir this guy is. A 39-year-old man (child) has to ask permission to borrow some of his own rightfully hard-earned inheritance. Fucking Italians, man. If I were an heir, I’d have $10,000 stashed up my asshole (as an heir, I’d have to be into those kinds of things, apparently), so paying off a two-day bender would be a cinch.

I have to caution this Elkann guy because he’s flying a little too close to the sun with his reputation. Drugs, transsexual escorts, and being frozen from your own accounts are all cool on their own, but mixed together they just equal a bad cocktail of shame covering the tabloids. That’s how you wind up being made fun of by the heirs to the Lamborghini and Ferrari fortunes, who’ll for sure have a nice laugh at Fiat bro’s expense the next time the heirs to the Italian automotive industry decide to hang out. Side note: the Fiat heir hanging with the Lamborghini and Ferrari heirs has to be the biggest third wheel since — dare I say — Italy in the Second World War.

[via Page Six]

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