Starting a drinking story with “I haven’t been THAT drunk since” before realizing you were that drunk like five days ago. TFM.
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Not knowing how to make any mixed drink that requires more than two ingredients. TFM.
Getting the wrong lens prescription because you took the eye exam while intoxicated. TFM.
Describing every competition you don’t win as “horse shit,” “rigged,” or “un-American.” TFM.