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Jealous Florida Dog Shoots Owner’s Girlfriend

Screen Shot 2017-02-24 at 10.53.59 AM

I always wonder if dogs get jealous of man’s better half. I don’t have a dog, or a girlfriend for that matter, but I get anxiety just thinking about how I’d have to divide my attention between my dog, my woman, my side bitch, my side woman’s woman, and like 11 college basketball games that I bet on any given night. That dog’s gonna get jealous.

And what happens when a dog gets jealous? He straight up shoots your girl when she’s asleep.

From ABC13:

A man told police that his dog was responsible for shooting his girlfriend while she was sleeping on Tuesday night.

Brian Murphy told officers that he let his dog, Diesel, outside after the animal woke him up and when they returned to the bedroom, the room was completely dark. Murphy told police that Diesel walked in before him, and that he then saw a flash and heard a bang.

Murphy’s girlfriend, Summer Miracle, had been shot in her sleep.

Murphy claimed that “Diesel jumped up on the nightstand, where (Murphy’s) gun was sitting, and it went off, shooting Summer in the right leg,” according to police.

Miracle told authorities she was asleep when the bullet struck her and that she wasn’t sure how she was shot.

WFOX reports that she was taken to the hospital with injuries that did not appear to be life-threatening

It’s an adage as old as time itself. Cops in Florida probably hear this shit like twenty times a day. The ol’ dog shot my girlfriend excuse. Classic.

This dog didn’t accidentally shoot her, bee tee dubs. This wasn’t an act of passion. He’s been planning this for weeks. Diesel ain’t nothing to fuck with. Now your girl is going to make you choose between her or the dog. Not like it’s Sophie’s Choice or anything. The dog wins 11 out of 10 times. Still, it’s not a conversation I’d look forward to having with my girl — especially one named Summer Miracle. Most Florida name of all time, who hundo p has to be a stripper, right?

[via ABC13]

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Boston Max

You can usually find me romancing your older sister over at PGP (PostGradProblems)

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