Florida Man Attempted Trading A Live Gator For 12-Pack

Email this to a friend

Nice Move

Sometimes you get blacked out and lose your wallet. With it goes your cash, your ID, and your credit cards. Essentially, your necessary livelihood – your ability to get into the bar and/or buy more booze to continue your escapades. Those of us unfortunate enough to encounter this dilemma know all too well how much of a night-ruiner it can be.

Not Miami resident Fernando Caignet Aguilera, though. Or so he thought…

Last week, the do-rag clad, tatted-up, Miami Heat fan stereotype was cited by police after he entered a downtown convenience store and attempted to trade the live four foot alligator he was handling for a 12-Pack of beer. According to Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Jorge Pino, Aguilera must’ve been a little short on cash and very desperate to continue some kind of binge, because he literally found the gator at a nearby park, trapped it, and brought it to the store.

Drunk desperation at it’s finest right here. Something I guess the unsympathetic spokesman Pino knows nothing about.

“This is absolutely bizarre, I can’t imagine somebody wanting to barter a live four-foot alligator for a 12 pack of beer, it makes no sense to me,” Pino said.

At the expense of Aguilera’s idiocy, I think there’s a lesson to be learned here for you guys: No matter how intoxicated you get, don’t think that a live alligator is ever fair barter for a twelve pack of beer. It’s worth at least a thirty rack, you’ve just got to execute the sale better.

The gator was captured and safely released back into the wild by authorities.

[via NBC Miami]

***

Ashley Schaeffer is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move. If you thought he was a woman, he'll take that as a compliment, because he loves women. Wooh. He's proud to hold two degrees from Penn State, and certainly contributed to the university's reputable rankings in the party school category during his time there. He's even more proud to anchor the TFM News team. Feel free to hit up his pager or drop an email (SchaefferTFM@gmail.com) with any warranted leads, or just to shoot the breeze about Philly sports. In the meantime, drop by his dealership for great deals on gently used BMW's.

More From Ashley Schaeffer BMW »

Comments

You must be logged in to comment. Log in or create an account.

Click to Read Comments (9)