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Frat Bro Punches Fellow Frat Bro, Loses Shot At Making His Coveted “Best Friends” List

Matt and Patel were more than just frat brothers. They were bonded closer than any frat brothers could be. They were so close, in fact, that Patel was a shoo-in for Matt’s coveted “Best Friends List.” At least, that’s what Matt thought.

One drunken night, Patel went and soiled their friendship. SOILED IT.

In a heart-wrenching series of text messages, Matt informed Patel that he was no longer in the running for the “Best Friends List” after Patel fucking PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE.

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Why did you do it, Patel? Y’all really had something — and not in the Cole, Rolland, J-Will poser-friend type of way. What you two had was SPECIAL. Do you think John (maybe Vic and Kevin) would have done something like that? Fuck no. And Robert DEFINITELY wouldn’t have done that. Rob and Matt are waayy too close. They always get Chipotle together before chapter and come in late, waving their silver burritos and laughing and having a grand ol’ time. They always hit on chicks together at the bars (Rob is actually a WAY better wingman). They’ve paddled each other naked for Christ’s sake. All of the best friends on Matt’s Best Friends List have paddled each other naked. Don’t you want to get naked and paddle Matt, Patel? PLEASE! TELL HIM YOU’RE SORRY AND THAT YOU’RE A GENUINE FRIEND!

I hope these kids can work it out.

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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