30 Items You Need In Your Fraternity House Kitchen

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frat kitchen

  1. Copious amounts of beer
  2. Matches
  3. Fire Extinguisher(s)
  4. First Aid Kit (should be in every room of house for easy access)
  5. Various pastas
  6. Expired condiments
  7. Expired condoms, you dirty dogs
  8. Enough E-Z Mac to feed a small village
  9. Soup that was bought for cooking but is now eaten straight from the can
  10. 1What might be either chunky cola or dip spit (mouth Coke)
  11. One skunked Shock Top from May 2008
  12. A head of dead lettuce
  13. Frozen pizzas
  14. Pizza rolls
  15. Pizza pockets
  16. Jon’s Bagel Bites that some asshole keeps eating (sorry, Jon)
  17. A secret stash of aged bourbon
  18. A secret stash of Nazi gold
  19. Ice cream in the freezer — no variations of mint allowed
  20. One box of Popeye’s in the fridge (rotate every three days)
  21. A dead ficus. How fake plants die, we’ll never know
  22. Habberford’s whey protein (purely for show)
  23. Water bong under the sink
  24. Beer bong in the sink
  25. Utensils (spatula, forks, bottle openers, etc.)
  26. Random cosmetics
  27. A countertop TV stuck on Bravo
  28. Tablet that only goes to Pinterest
  29. One to four bottles of cheap-ish wine
  30. A woman, because God knows you can’t cook for shit
Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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