Fraternity House Tormented by an Evil Native American Spirit to be Featured on SyFy Channel

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Fraternity houses tend to be pretty old buildings with a rich history, especially the further east and/or south you go. With so much history it’s only natural that some of these fraternity houses would be haunted, and not just by the lingering stench of Keystone Light or the ghosts of embryos snuffed out by Plan B. Take for example the Pennsylvania fraternity house soon to be featured on the SyFy Channel show “School Spirits.” Their house was haunted by a Native American spirit named Sam Mohawk (no really). Mohawk had apparently murdered a family and was hung for his crimes just outside where their chapter house now stands.

They said that rooms experienced extremes in temperature, objects in the house moved of their own volition, and doors even locked on their own.

If we learned anything from the movie Poltergeist it’s that you do NOT want to be haunted by pissed off Indians, if only because you’ll have to deal with this lady:

That’s truly more frightening than the ghost itself. Besides, this sounds like a pretty casual haunting, until you hear one of the brother’s stories.

But one brother had the most harrowing experience of all.

The man narrated the dramatic reenactment, which showed him being lifted off the ground with his bed sheets coiled around his neck like a hangman’s noose. “I could feel my body being lifted,” he said. “I wanted to yell help and I couldn’t even get that out.”

After a few moments, he was released.

A ghost choked you with your bedsheets? Sure thing, chief. Sounds to me like you were having yourself a little choke and stroke, got caught, and blamed it on the ghost.

***

Brother 1: Hey Kyle, what’s with those burns on your neck?

Kyle: (nervously) Huh? What?

Brother 2: Yeah man, I’ve noticed that too. What’s with your neck? What are you doing?

Kyle: Nothing, I don’t know what you guys are talking about.

Brother 1: No, Kyle, there are clearly burn marks on your neck. In fact… (looks closer) those marks sort of look like they came from a belt…

Kyle: Whatever.

Brother 1: Are you… are you choking yourself when you jack off?

Kyle: What?!? No! NO! It’s uh, it was, um… okay I didn’t want to say anything because I was, uh, scared or whatever, but that ghost that we’re pretty sure is haunting the house choked me with my bedsheets last night.

Brother 2: Oh my God! Seriously?

Kyle: TOTALLY.

Brother 1: Well those marks still look like they came from a belt, and I’ve seen your browsing history and know for a fact you’re a sick pervert, but regardless, I’m tired of my doors locking and my room getting freezing cold for no reason. I’m getting a damn Ouija Board and we’re putting a stop to this once and for all!

(*Later*)

(*Everyone stands over the Ouija Board*)

Brother 1: Oh restless spirit… was Kyle choking himself when he jacked off?

Kyle: SHUT UP! Don’t ask that! Just ask the ghost who he is… dick.

***

The fraternity brothers really did use a Ouija Board to communicate with the ghost, and after learning who the spirit was they burned the board, which for some reason rid them of the angry spirit.

Sounds like a load of crap to me. I’m sticking with my choke and stroke theory.

“School Spirits” airs on the SyFy Channel on Wednesday at 10:00pm ET.

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  1. JParks

    “Oh restless spirit… was Kyle choking himself when he jacked off?”

    Hot damn, I lost it.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
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    • ice cold frat

      I break into houses to masturbate on peoples’ bed sheets. They don’t know, but spiritually, I’m always there. Always there.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
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    • Kaleth

      ^Was that you that got dried cum stains all over my mom’s rocking chair? You asshole! She blamed me and now I’m not allowed to shut my door anymore!

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
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