From Blowing A .341 To Getting Off The Grid: The Saga Of Vodka Samm

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As I’m sure you’re all aware, Samantha Goudie made quite a few headlines this weekend. The shit she pulled and the aftermath of her actions created a bit of a frenzy from major news sources to social media sites.

For those of you who were either in a cave somewhere or too drunk to care, allow me to fill you in on what Ms. Goudie, or as she’s also known, Vodka Samm, did and the hilarity that ensued.

Vodka Samm is a student at the University of Iowa, which was recently ranked as the top party school in the nation. Like many other students, she was watching the Hawkeyes play the Huskies at Kinnick Stadium. That’s when the story began.

Saturday, 31 August, 1:21pm: Vodka Samm is arrested for public intoxication after attempting to enter the playing field. She blows a .341

Around 3:30pm: Vodka Samm is released from jail

3:33pm: Vodka Samm tweets “Just went to jail #yolo”

After being released from jail, seemingly having been bailed out by her mother, Vodka Samm tweeted about playing slap-the-bag and getting .341 tattooed on her. At this point, she’s blowing up all over Twitter.

By the night of September 2nd, Vodka Samm, using the handle @Vodka_Samm has around 20,000 followers on twitter, including myself. Personally, I was pretty excited. I could only see good things to come from her account. Her tweets were almost as ridiculous as the fact that so many people wanted to hear what she had to say. I thought Vodka Samm was here to stay. I was wrong.

At some point, Vodka Samm deactivated her Twitter account. Though I don’t know why, I can think of a few plausible explanations.

1. Pressure From Her Parents

I’m sure that Mom and Dad quickly found out about their daughter’s internet notoriety and were less than pleased. They may have gone so far as to threaten pulling her out of school. Who knows? Maybe they had to beg her to deactivate it in order to save the family name.

2. Pressure From The School Administration

I can completely see why the school would be pissed at her, but I don’t think it’s likely that they’d say anything to her about her Twitter account. Still, we can’t rule out any possibilities here. Down at TFM Headquarters, this is being treated as a criminal investigation. It’s right up there with the case of the missing sign. They’ve got detectives (interns) working in shifts.

3. Fear Of Future Repercussions

Vodka Samm might be worried about not being able to find a job in the future. Being known as Vodka Samm alone could be a deal breaker when it comes to interviews. Plus, tweets like “fuuuuuuuuuuuuck feelings, looooooove alcohol” probably don’t look too good in the eyes of HR, regardless of how true they may be.

Things didn’t stop with the deactivation of Vodka Samm’s account. At some point this afternoon, a new Twitter account was born. This account claimed to be Vodka Samm. However, I’m skeptical. For one thing, it’s a brand new account. Why wouldn’t she just reactivate her old one? The new one, which uses the slightly different handle @VodkaSamm, only has six tweets and, as of 4:01pm CST, 995 followers. This definitely seems a little fishy to me.

Do we have an imposter on our hands? Did Vodka Samm decide she needed to start a new Twitter account in order to move on in life? Is Al-Qaeda involved? These are all important questions that demand answers.

This is certainly turning out to be an interesting story that, as you’ve seen here, is still rapidly developing.

Then, we have this:

original

[via Twitter]

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BlutarskyTFM

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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