“We did it.” – Everyone in Columbia, Missouri on Saturday, November 30th, just after an SEC East clinching victory over Texas A&M, and just before consuming enough alcohol to kill the populous of a much larger, much less degenerate town.
Columbia, MO – This past Saturday, Mizzou’s football team beat Texas A&M 28-21 to claim the title of the SEC East Division Champs (suck it bishes). This also means that next Saturday, December 7th, Missouri will face Auburn in Atlanta, Georgia, to compete for the title of the Southeastern Conference’s number one team.
With the stakes in mind, the lead up to Saturday’s game against A&M was a wild one. Tiger fans filled the stadium in their black and gold attire and anxiously cheered on their favorite football team. After the clock hit triple zeroes and victory was ours, everyone in the stands rushed the field and gathered around the winning team. It was like the stampede that killed Mufasa, but fun. From there Missouri fans knew without a doubt that an epic night was about go down. The raucous crowd exited the field and prepared to do exactly what the athletic department had inadvertently instructed us to do prior to the game: black out.
What comes hand-in-hand with a big win? Oh yes, a big celebration, and boy did Columbia fuckin’ celebrate. The bars were filled with hyped up Mizzou fans – it was not a night you wanted to miss, and I was lucky enough to be there…physically. Consciousness-wise, not as much. However, I think I can put enough pieces together to recall the fun.
The celebration started out at the game day bar, Bengals (classic). I forced one of my friends to pay cover for me and smuggled in a few cans of Bud Light. You know, the good stuff. I also sniped a few nasty Rumple Minze shots off some old, drunk parents – they are always so generous. I was scheming to say the least, and ended up not spending a dime.
The night then continued at Columbia’s most famous drinking establishment, Harpo’s – gratuitous bar-hopping at its finest. The crowd there was, as usual, real rowdy, but definitely a lot of fun. Unfortunately I ended up spending a total of $7 while inside, which equates to $20 when adjusting to non-college town prices. Ugh, the struggle. Shout out to the bartender who made me a vodka cranberry for free, and made it 50% vodka. Huge move.
From Harpo’s we moved straight down to 10 Below, the bar underneath Harpo’s that always opens at 11pm. Yes, it’s one of those late night bars: loud, dark, sticky, and a shit ton of fun. This is where the night got fuckin’ weird, but it’s hard to mind the weirdness when everyone is having a great time. From then on, it was straight BOC (black out city). Of course I blacked back in right as I ended the night like I always do: with a hot dog from the stands outside. Clutch.
If you were in Columbia this past Saturday night, you had a damn good time. Here’s hoping for another great night like this and another victory next Saturday. This shitshow is headed to Atlanta, bitches. Get ready for us!