Huge report due Monday. Spent the entire week surfing the web and owning happy hours. Currently trying to buy adderall through Craigs List. TFM.
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Telling the pledges you’re giving up hazing for Lent, then reminding them you’re in a Jewish fraternity. TFM.
Spending all night convincing her you’re not trying to get in her pants just to get in her pants. TFM.