“Girls Gone Wild” Founder Just Fathered Twin Girls, Karma Is A Bitch

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On Tuesday, the creator of “Girls Gone Wild,” Joe Francis, and his 26-year-old girlfriend welcomed two baby girls into the world. Seriously.

There are no reports regarding whether the delivery got wild or not, although I wouldn’t be surprised if Francis tried to convince the midwife that it was an opportune time for an impromptu wet T-shirt contest, because 3 a.m. infomercials still sell DVDs like hotcakes.

From U.S. Magazine:

According to a birth announcement from the couple, the little ones were born in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. The announcement read: “Proud first time parents Joe Francis and Abbey Wilson are delighted to announce the birth of their two daughters, Alexandria Claire Francis and Athena Olivia Francis.”

It’s a shame the children’s lives are literally welcomed by the sleaze that is Puerto Vallarta, and that both “Alexandria Claire” and “Athena Olivia” already ring of future college coed striptease performances. The fact that their father is a notorious, parading, tax-evading criminal on both a state and federal level kind of sucks, too. And not to mention, there may not even be a “Girls Gone Wild” empire to inherit, seeing as Francis filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy in February.

What baffles me most is that reportedly, the children were conceived via in vitro fertilization, because Francis and his girlfriend, “wanted girls.”

How the fuck could he ever rightfully say that?

After witnessing and promoting female participation in literally unfathomable amounts of debauchery and pure raunchiness for more than a decade, how the hell in his right mind could this guy ever say, let alone justify, that he wanted to have TWO daughters of his own?

I mean, “GGW” made me terrified to have a daughter, and I knew that at age 14. I can’t even imagine how crazy Francis’ girlfriend is to go through with this, at his insistence of, “I love girls!”

I’m putting the over/under for either of the Francis girls’ first X-rated flick surfacing at November 8, 2032, with odds even less generous saying it’s produced by their scumbag dad. Might as well parlay it with North West being a costar while you’re at it.

[via U.S. Magazine]

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Ashley Schaeffer is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move. If you thought he was a woman, he'll take that as a compliment, because he loves women. Wooh. He's proud to hold two degrees from Penn State, and certainly contributed to the university's reputable rankings in the party school category during his time there. He's even more proud to anchor the TFM News team. Feel free to hit up his pager or drop an email (SchaefferTFM@gmail.com) with any warranted leads, or just to shoot the breeze about Philly sports. In the meantime, drop by his dealership for great deals on gently used BMW's.

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