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Glassdoor’s List Of The 50 College Majors With The Highest Post-Graduation Earnings Is Hilariously Awful

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It’s a pretty standard content move to craft a ranking list catered to college students. These lists can range anywhere from completely subjective, asinine power rankings of “The Most Cat-Friendly Colleges For The Cat-Loving College Kid Who Can’t Stand Leaving Their Fuzzy Wuzzy Ball Of Fluff” to critically acclaimed thinkpieces rooted strictly in facts and quantifiable evidence, like TFM’s own The Top 10 Colleges Where Sex Comes Easy; it all depends on the publisher. When the publisher is, say, a website trying to create a list out of nothing so that they can use it for their own personal gain, you can pretty much guess how that list is going to turn out.

Here’s the list, which is of “The 50 Highest Paying College Majors,” that job hunting site Glassdoor posted on their website.

1. Computer Science

Median Base Salary: $70,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Software Engineer, Systems Engineer, Web Developer

2. Electrical Engineering

Median Base Salary: $68,438
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Electrical Engineer, Systems Engineer, Software Developer

3. Mechanical Engineering

Median Base Salary: $68,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Mechanical Engineer, Design Engineer, Project Engineer

4. Chemical Engineering

Median Base Salary: $65,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Chemical Engineer, Process Engineer, Project Engineer

5. Industrial Engineering

Median Base Salary: $64,381
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Industrial Engineer, Quality Engineer, Production Planner

6. Information Technology

Median Base Salary: $64,008
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Programmer Analyst, Technical Support, Systems Engineer

7. Civil Engineering

Median Base Salary: $61,500
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Civil Engineer, Structural Engineer, Field Engineer

8. Statistics

Median Base Salary: $60,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Data Analyst, Statistician, Data Scientist

9. Nursing

Median Base Salary: $58,928
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Registered Nurse, Licensed Vocational Nurse, Case Manager

10. Management Information Systems

Median Base Salary: $58,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Network Administrator, Help Desk Analyst, Business Analyst

11. Finance

Median Base Salary: $54,900
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Financial Analyst, Investment Banking Analyst, Accountant

12. Mathematics

Median Base Salary: 54,018
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Math Teacher, Software Engineer, Data Analyst

13. Biomedical Engineering

Median Base Salary: $52,814
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Biomedical Engineer, Service Engineer, Clinical Research Associate

14. Accounting

Median Base Salary: $52,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Accountant, Auditor, Financial Analyst

15. Economics

Median Base Salary: $52,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Financial Analyst, Management Analyst, Accountant

16. Physics

Median Base Salary: $50,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Physicist, Research Fellow, Computer Programmer

17. Biotechnology

Median Base Salary: $50,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Laboratory Technician, Quality Control Analyst, Research Associate

18. Architecture

Median Base Salary: $50,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Architect, CAD Designer, Project Designer

19. Fashion Design

Median Base Salary: $50,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Fashion Designer, Textile Designer, Stylist

20. Business

Median Base Salary: $47,850
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Account Manager, Marketing Manager, Market Research Analyst

21. International Relations

Median Base Salary: $45,880
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Marketing Associate, English Teacher, Research Assistant

22. Graphic Design

Median Base Salary: $45,846
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Graphic Designer, Web Designer, Art Manager

23. Marketing

Median Base Salary: $45,475
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Marketing Coordinator, Account Executive, Marketing Analyst

24. English

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: English Teacher, Editor, Copywriter

25. Political Science

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Law Clerk, Paralegal, Consultant

26. History

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Research Assistant, History Teacher, Teaching Assistant

27. Human Resources

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: HR Coordinator, Corporate Recruiter, HR Analyst

28. Journalism

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Reporter, Editor, Public Relations Coordinator

29. Advertising

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Account Executive, Marketing Analyst, Media Planner

30. Philosophy

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Teaching Assistant, Writer, Consultant

31. Environmental Science

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Environmental Scientist, Laboratory Technician, Safety Manager

32. Social Science

Median Base Salary: $45,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: HR Assistant, Management Consultant, Visual Merchandiser

33. Spanish

Median Base Salary: $44,256
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Spanish Teacher, Spanish Translator, Project Manager

34. Communications

Median Base Salary: $44,190
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Public Relations Coordinator, Journalist, Content Marketing Manager

35. Interior Design

Median Base Salary: $44,098
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Interior Designer, Visual Merchandiser, Drafter

36. Chemistry

Median Base Salary: $44,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Pharmacy Technician, Chemist, Laboratory Technician

37. Music

Median Base Salary: $44,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Music Teacher, Audio Engineer, Media Sales

38. Film Studies

Median Base Salary: $44,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Production Coordinator, Video Editor, Proposal Manager

39. Public Relations

Median Base Salary: $43,156
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Public Relations Coordinator, Account Executive, Event Planner

40. Sports Management

Median Base Salary: $43,156
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Personal Trainer, Sales Associate, Production Assistant

41. Education

Median Base Salary: $43,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Special Education Teacher, Elementary School Teacher, Language Arts Teacher

42. Anthropology

Median Base Salary: $43,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Project Coordinator, Research Assistant, Administrative Assistant

43. Hospitality Management

Median Base Salary: $42,734
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Food and Beverage Manager, Front Desk Manager, Housekeeping Manager

44. Biochemistry

Median Base Salary: $42,672
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Research Technician, Pharmacy Technician, Chemist

45. Liberal Arts

Median Base Salary: $42,500
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Sales Manager, Receptionist, Teacher

46. Psychology

Median Base Salary: $42,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Case Manager, Mental Health Counselor, Sales Associate

47. Sociology

Median Base Salary: $42,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: HR Assistant, Account Manager, Administrative Assistant

48. Healthcare Administration

Median Base Salary: $42,000
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Medical Assistant, File Clerk, Office Manager

49. Social Work

Median Base Salary: $41,656
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Social Worker, Mental Health Counselor, Camp Counselor

50. Biology

Median Base Salary: $41,250
Popular Entry-Level Jobs: Lab Assistant, Paramedic, Tutor

Wow! Let’s summarize all of the amazing things we learned from this GoodList™!

1. Popular entry-level jobs for Electrical, Mechanical, Chemical, Industrial, and Civil Engineering majors include being an Electrical, Mechanical, Chemical, Industrial, and Civil Engineer, and popular entry-level jobs for Statistics, Nursing, and English majors include being a Statistician, a Nurse, and an English Teacher. Fascinating!

2. Don’t listen to your grandpa when he tells you you’re stupider than the heaps of bones you dust off all day, Anthropology majors — you’ll make more out of college than Biochem and Psych majors!

3. Same goes for you, Music majors; those MORONS majoring in Public Relations are going to make less out of college than you! You better prep your world’s tiniest violin for those sadsacks, hahaha!!!

While listing the word for somebody who majors in something as being a popular job in that field is inexcusably stupid, Glassdoor isn’t 100% in the wrong. They don’t explicitly say that, on average, Music majors will make more right out of college than Public Relations majors (which is completely untrue), but they do arrange their list in a way that would make it appear as if that’s what they’re saying, which is pretty much the same thing. I declare them 99% in the wrong.

If it’s not abundantly clear by now, this list does not take into account people who graduate with these majors and then don’t get jobs in them because there aren’t any jobs to get. Yeah, out of 100 Music majors, maybe 50 will get jobs that average around $44k a year, but what about those other 50? Meanwhile, Public Relations majors look at this list and go “Oh shit, maybe PR isn’t such a good route for me” when, in reality, many more people are getting jobs in PR than in Music; it’s just that the starting salary for a PR job is actually around $43k, making that number mean something except when it’s compared to Music’s $44k, which only serves as a misleading base salary placeholder. If you want a more accurate list, redo the whole thing and see how much adding a bunch of zeroes into the mix skews the averages.

I was surprised to see that this garbage heap of a list made its way into The Washington Post‘s published pile. When I see “Washington Post,” I think “legitimate news organization.” I picture a bustling newsroom with monocle-wearing aristocrats typing news stories on typewriters (for some reason that I don’t “get” because I’m not a traditional media guy) while the editor from Spider-Man sits in his office speaking unintelligibly fast and a bunch of orphan newsies wait by the back door to receive a stack of newspapers while they practice yelling “extry! extry!” before dying Edgar Allan Poe-style in a curb somewhere because nobody loves neither them nor the glorified packaging material they’re trying to hock. Just your stereotypical, highly-regarded newsroom operation. But even the Washington Post is content-starved sometimes, and since content starvation leads to employee starvation, I can’t blame them for smearing this dogshit list across the internet like that hobo outside my apartment building smears literal dogshit onto a piece of “toast” which is really just a hubcap that fell off of a passing Lincoln MKZ last week.

[via The Washington Post]

Image via Shutterstock

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

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