News

Graham DeLaet Pulls Out Of Memorial Tournament For Something I Play Through Every Damn Time

Screen Shot 2016-06-01 at 3.44.06 PM

Professional golfer and owner of the best beard on the PGA Tour, Graham DeLaet, recently announced that he was withdrawing from this weekend’s Memorial Tournament due to “incredible anxiety while chipping/pitching.”


While I understand there’s no point in wasting your time and other people’s money playing in a competition in which you know you’re going to underperform, and that anxiety is a very real problem facing millions of Americans today, I’m having a hard time understanding why chipping/pitching-induced anxiety is keeping a professional golfer out of such a big tournament.

As an incredibly average amateur golfer, I get anxiety before literally every single shot I attempt. My heart sinks so low in my stomach it feels like it’s my dick’s winter coat before and during every drive, approach shot, pitch, chip, bunker shot, second bunker shot, third bunker shot and putt, but I still go out there and card my PGA 95 like a champ. “Never back down.” That’s my motto, as well as “FOOOOOORE!” If I’m this mediocre at golf and can play through my anxiety, I have full faith that Graham can play through his.

If you don’t want to, though, that’s fine, Graham. Take all the time you need to recover. I do ask, however, that you please toss me your spot in the field. Let me show the PGA Tour why they call me Jared “On In 4” Borislow.

[via Twitter]

Image via Twitter

h/t Golf Digest

Email this to a friend

Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

14 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More