Rob Gronkowski is America’s puppy dog. He’s fun, he’s cute (I’m man enough to admit it) and, while he might get himself into a little bit of trouble every now and then, that just makes you love him even more. He’s just Gronk bein’ Gronk. Hell, I wish instead of America’s puppy dog, he was my puppy dog. Maybe we can strike some sort of arrangement à la Danny McBride and Channing Tatum in “This Is The End”? I sure hope he likes peanut butter.
What, you think I’m weird or something? Check out this video from Wednesday’s Patriots victory parade and you’ll see why I’m in man-love.
His eyes light up like a Chinese takeout restaurant owner’s on Christmas after those three seconds it takes for his brain to comprehend the word “Fireball.” (In his defense, when viewed in real-time, he appears to be able to read at a normal pace.) The video cuts off at a crucial point, though. WHAT DOES GRONK DO WITH THE FIREBALL? Keep it for later? Put it in his coffee? BUTT CHUG IT?
Luckily, another parade viewer caught the aftermath.
The Gronk shoulder shimmy gets me every damn time. What a dance move. Should be in every man’s arsenal.
Apparently, Gronk Gronkspiked the bottle shortly after this video ended, but sadly, there is no video evidence so this remains unconfirmed at this time.
We love you, Gronk..