Gun Wielding, Hawaiian Shirt Wearing Vigilante Attempts To Stop Crime In Progress

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Gun Wielding, Hawaiian Shirt Wearing Vigilante Attempts To Stop Crime In Progress

About a week ago, an incident took place in Salt Lake City that’s been making headlines all around the world. An ordinary citizen, only identified as “Nick,” put his life in danger to save an unarmed victim being attacked by a man with a knife.

Nick, who later went on record as saying he is a retired police officer, saw what appeared to be some sort of confrontation taking place on the side of the road.

From WGNTV:

“I was just in my car on North Temple, I saw a guy pull a knife on another guy, a fight ensued, the guy with the knife was swinging it several times at the unarmed person,” said Nick, the civilian, who declined to give his last name.

Thinking quickly, Nick pulled over, got out of his car, and pulled a gun on the man who’d been swinging the knife.

People nearby didn’t know what the fuck was going on. All they knew was that a guy with a gun was making a guy with a knife lie down on the ground. Oh, and they saw that the man with the gun was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

Hawaiian shirt or not, the bystanders weren’t too happy with Nick’s actions. They begged Nick to put the gun away.

“He’s not going to do nothing put the gun down, he’s not going to do nothing, put the gun down,” said one witness in the video.

Keeping one hand on his weapon, Nick pulled out his phone and called the cops, who quickly arrived at the scene. You’d think the cops would pat Nick on the back for thwarting a crime, but in fact, they did the opposite. As you’d expect, law enforcement officials don’t want folks taking justice into their own hands for reasons that should be fairly obvious. There was also one other small detail that may have led to Nick not getting the congratulations he may have been expected.

The guy with the knife wasn’t the bad guy.

According to the man Nick pulled the gun on, he was simply trying to get his bike back from the other man, who, according to him, stole it. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I do know one thing, Nick thought quickly, relied on his training, and summoned the power of the Hawaiian shirt.

I can see why those bystanders were nervous about Nick having a gun. They’re not Hawaiian shirt experts. I, however, am. I can tell you right now that anyone wearing a Hawaiian shirt is calm, cool, and collected. They’re processing everything going on around them. They’re taking everything in. They’re the ones you want on the scene when you’re in trouble.

So, maybe Nick fucked up. Maybe he ended up screwing over a guy who was just trying to get his bike back. I don’t know. I’m not a cop, I’m not a lawyer, and I’m not a judge. I am a Senior Fellow at the Institute for Hawaiian Shirt Policy Research, though, so that gives me a little room to say something on the issue.

Nick was exercising his 2nd Amendment rights, he was trying to thwart a crime, and he was just trying to do the right thing. Whether he was right or wrong in the end, we may never know. One thing we will know, however, is that he was wearing a great Hawaiian shirt. Who knows what would’ve happened if he weren’t?

#YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts

[via WGNTV]

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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