If I don’t know where your baby has been then I’m not going to hold it. Period. That thing could be riddled with germs.
Sports fans are the worst. Yeah, I said it, and I’ll die on that hill any day of the week. But this guy at a recent celebrity golf tournament is in a different class. He’s the kind that’ll get courtside seats just to try and guilt trip LeBron into giving his dying grandma (that doesn’t exist) a pair of autographed kicks.
A fan in attendance of the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship in Tahoe brought his baby on board in hopes of getting some candid celebrity moments. See, for this guy, it wasn’t good enough just to be close enough to rub elbows with stars like Steph Curry, Tony Romo, and Justin Timberlake. No, he had to annoyingly force his child onto them.
“All these people said you’d hold my baby.”
No they didn’t.
“Jesus says share.”
No he didn’t.
“I’m bringing babies back.”
No you’re not. They never left, idiot.
What gets me is how begrudgingly Justin agrees to hold the child. If that isn’t body language for “Oh my God, I’ll fucking do it if you shut the fuck up,” then I don’t know what is. And if he doesn’t hold the baby? People think he’s an asshole. It’s a tough spot to be in.
The lesson here is if you’ve got front row seats to a celebrity tournament, just shut up and take pictures for Instagram so your friends and ex-girlfriends can wallow in jealousy.
Also, don’t use your kids as a prop to get further in life, unless you’re going the “Blindside” route and adopting beefy kids from the streets and signing them up for football. That’s totally fine, and I strongly encourage it. Ride those coattails..
Image via YouTube