Harvard Administration Officially Approves Student BDSM Sex Club

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There’s a new school approved bondage club at Harvard, and no, it is not called “50 Shades of Crimson!”

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(*Runs outside, throws self into traffic, dies happy*)

Harvard’s new BDSM club calls itself “Harvard College Munch,” and, after a little over a year of existing informally, the club has now been officially approved by Harvard’s Committee on Student Life.

The genesis of Munch goes back to last October, when a group of seven or so students with like, and sexually twisted, minds began meeting over meals to discuss their affinity for kinky sex. Needless to say they were kicked out of quite a few Chili’s before eventually finding a safe home.

“I’ll take the baby back ribs and a margarita. Now what was I saying? Oh yeah, you haven’t had a real erection until someone whips your ass with a bicycle chain.”

The group’s founder, who goes by Michael to remain anonymous (he also wears a leather mask to protect his identity), is happy that the group received official recognition, saying there are many benefits such as being able to post flyers on campus to promote Munch’s presence.

“If you come to campus and you have the sexual interests we represent, you may not even suspect that such a group exists,” Michael said.

Munch is also now allowed to apply for DAPA food grants, making it easier to find a convenient time and location to meet, instead of gathering in small dining halls.

But for Michael, the biggest advantage to being recognized comes with “the fact of legitimacy,” he said. “[Our recognition] shows we are being taken seriously.”

Michael then stripped down to his boxers, chained himself to a radiator, and had a sophomore member of Munch burn his nipples with a curling iron until he screamed the safe word “doleo,” which is of course Latin. Those pervy nerds.

Munch now has over thirty members, and Michael seems encouraged that more will come now that the club has official recognition.

“Pretty much everyone who joins this club always thought they were alone,” Michael said.

You know who still feels alone? The gimp that Munch has locked in a chest in a campus boiler room.

[Source]

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  1. TrickleDown

    A few points.

    1. I would be shocked if a single decent looking person were in that club. The harvard student body is not good looking as it is.

    2. Harvard has become such a liberal shithole that I’m not surprised it allows these degenerates to become an official club.

    3. Neither of my previous two points mean I would deny having the pleasure of being spanked by my seventh grade english teacher. I still want to rail you, Mrs. Abblebaum

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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  2. The Waltz

    I just want to rail the girl in the picture of the stupid slut in the hat and mittens that shows up underneath every damn story on this website these days.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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  3. Mutant

    Who all is putting in for a transfer? I’ll just put on my application that I have a 5.0 GPA and a suitcase full of mini blowtorches, gags, and big black dildos.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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