If you think it’s all blueberries and paper airplanes behind the gates at Harvard, you can take solace in the fact that even though the
legacies nerds at the world’s most prestigious university will make more money than you, they may all die of starvation before they graduate. And no, there’s no hunger strike promoting #ClownLivesMatter; there’s a food services workers strike, and it’s been causing some panic at the Harvard disco to say the least.
From Tasting Table:
Students at Harvard are stockpiling food that’s been stealthily (or not so stealthily) removed from the dining halls—apples and Tupperware containers are being slipped into backpacks and then stored in dorm rooms. They are preparing for a potential strike by the staff who operate the dining halls, which is slated to start tonight.
School paper The Crimson has even offered up a survival guide with tips like: “You must forage for provisions in advance. To properly stock up, enter the dhall on Monday with a savage mindset, and proceed with your overt theft like nobody’s watching. With Tupperware poised, confidently ladle oatmeal, chili, and chowder.”
Meanwhile, the school is bracing for the strike by loading up on frozen foods like soups, mac and cheese and stuffed peppers. No word yet if the university has invested in loads of microwaves for reheating.
I feel like I haven’t been able to open the paper in Boston (yeah I read, what of it) without hearing about the strike the strike the strike. This is what they’re freaking out about? Stuffing food from the dining hall into Gladware? Harvard calls this a crisis. I used to call that a Tuesday night. I guess this is what constitutes a catastrophe when you’re endowed like Lexington Steele (Harvard’s $35.7 billion endowment is bigger than the economies of nearly 100 countries). The chefs run amok picketing and asking for raises, and now Trey Haverford IV and his cronies are about to go hungry.
Laugh out loud funny having the school stock up on frozen goods. The mental image of kids lined up hundreds deep in front of a communal microwave to preheat Annie’s Organics mac & cheese is gold Jerry gold. I can’t wait for Harvard to overestimate the amount of frozen food they need, only for the strike to end next week and the school’s left with enough frozen food to keep a small village of subterranean Chilean miners satiated.
I’m almost debating buying some bagels and lox and swinging on over to Harvard Square and selling them to students out in the quad. Seems like a savvy business move. If you’re a freelance chef in the Boston area looking to make some extra dough (see what I did there? Like money, but also pizza?) maybe think about slinging some eats for America’s elite. Who the hell knows, maybe Frank Costanza will come out of retirement..
[via Tasting Table]
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