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Head On A Swivel In San Marcos, There’s A Bull Roaming Campus Looking To Gore Everyone In Sight

Let’s have a live look at the Texas State quad right now:

It’s a terrible, bloody scene in San Marcos as a bull has somehow gotten out and made his way to the Texas State campus where he’s goring every living thing in his sights to DEATH. Heads on a swivel, people!


Look at the anger in his eyes. And that “I’m about to kill some motherfuckers” power stance. What a finely-tuned killing machine. Impressive animal, really. Makes you want to take him home, if not for his unrelenting thirst for human blood.


It’s unclear at this point where the bull came from, how he escaped whichever enclosure he was in, or how he made his way to Bobcat Country, but I am sure of one thing: He’s there to gore as many Texas State students to death and fill the streets with as much human blood and guts as possible.

P.S. I don’t believe there’s much to worry about here. Just stay inside. I’m sure he’ll be captured soon.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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