Sometimes we get some pure gold stories in the comments sections of our articles. Most of the time, they are try-hards trying to make themselves sound cool by remarking about all the butts they’ve peed in. This, however, is one of the good ones. It comes to us from commenter Pure-blood, and it involves NFL great Rob Gronkowski, some alcohol, and a few Kappa Sigs getting beaten up.
Ok Jared. I wasn’t an English major and I’m replying while taking a shit..
So I was on the football team with big rob and we all liked to go to parties as a group. We were at the kappa sig house one night having a good time when a few of the brothers got a little jealous of gronk cause he was stealing all the attention away from every girl in there. Not to mention a few members of the team were creeping on girls who definitely had boy friends in the house. So long story short the house bands together and kicks us out. There were some words that were said back and forth but eventually we complied. There was about 15 of us that were there and as soon as we got out of the door everyone from the house gathered outside in a group and started talking more shit to us. There was a little bit of pushing and shoving but then some dipshit from the back of the group standing in the doorway thought it would be a good idea to throw a full can of beer at us. It hit gronk square in the head. He turned around with a look that would make anyone piss themselves and yelled at the closest guy to tell him who threw it. Almost every kappa sig turned around and pointed out the shit head who threw it in fear of getting beat down themselves. He didn’t waste a second and started fucking up guys left and right on his way to the pussy standing in the back of the crowd. Seeing how gronk was going apeshit on everyone the guys from the team decided to jump in too. It was probably 15 on 40 but we had the height and weight on every kid in that house so it made it a pretty even fight. Not sure if gronkowski ever reached that kid or not who threw the beer but I do remember the first 4 or 5 guys he did get a hold of. It was like a scene from the movie 300. He was simultaneously hitting and throwing them as he walked. You could see the fear in their eyes as he inched closer and closer. I watched it for a good 5 seconds in awe before getting a right hook across my face. I still think about it sometimes when i see him spike the ball on TV and it brings a tear to my eye and a smile to my face.
The cops quickly came but no one was arrested cause we were on the team and promised that we wouldn’t go back there. Obviously we were never invited back either.
To that kid who was stupid enough to throw a full can of beer at Rob Gronkowski. Pray that he never finds out who you are. But I know you’ll be telling the story to your grandkids about the night you fucked him up one-on-one in front of everyone.
Awesome. I just imagine Kappa Sigs flying through the air as Gronk makes his way to the back where the suspect is standing, quivering in fear, pee down his legs, and praying he doesn’t die. Need this story to be real, and, to be honest with you all, I believe it..
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