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Heroic Mannequin Sets New Standard For Male Beauty

“My eyes are up here, ladies.”

Story of my life. Every Jen, Sue, and Mary can never draw their gaze from my masculine gut to have a real conversation. It’s probably because of the ridiculous standard set forth by the MEDIA that insists every guy needs to have six pack abs and a big ol’ dong. Guess what — most of us have neither, and are doing just fine in the babe department.

Finally, the department stores are coming around on the brand new, never-before-implemented idea that “Big is Beautiful.” Get a load of this mannequin from one brave store that is setting men’s rights forward at least 50 years.

That’s the ideal male body. You may not like it, but it’s the truth.

If it wasn’t for the terrible taste in shorts, this mannequin would be a hot commodity. Throw a pair of Patagonia Baggies on this dude and he’s getting stole off the shelf by a horned up sales associate to be ridden like a Brahma Bull. Despite every girl I’ve ever dated subtly hinting that going to the gym is fun, we all know that ladies love a little butter with their beef.

Companies like Mattell (Ken doll? More like KEN HAS NO DONG) and the NBA (No Bodyfat Axis-of-Evil) should take notes. Instead of forcing unrealistic standards of handsomeness on men everywhere, it’s time to get with the program. It’s 2017, and our beer bellies no longer define who we are.

If this brave mannequin doesn’t set the precedent, at least he voicelessly started the conversation.

[via /u/wasak1]

Image via /u/wasak1

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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