Horny Old Man Disguises His Junk As Vegetables, Rubs It On An Attractive Woman’s Ass While In Line

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Nice Move

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You have to love creepy old dudes. They’ve seen a lot of shit, done a lot of things. By the time they’re in their seventies, eighties, and beyond, they simply stop giving a fuck about social norms, and even laws. They’re too old to worry about bullshit like indecent exposure or being called a creep. I can only hope to be as carefree as these guys when I reach that age.

A 77-year-old Florida man was arrested last week at a farmers’ market when his sexual urges were just too much to handle. The man was reportedly freeballing it before letting ‘em loose and walking around with his penis hanging out. He then attempted to disguise his package as vegetables by placing a plastic bag over them. Pure genius.

Anyway, he walked up behind a woman waiting in line to check out and removed the bag before rubbing his junk all over her ass, predictably making her highly uncomfortable. He tried to make a run for it–presumably with his saggy balls still making a public appearance–before being tackled by fellow shoppers until the police arrived.

According to the Sheriff’s office, he claims to have found the woman “very attractive” and the exposure was only an accident.

From Orlando Sentinel:

Gonzaga, who lives in Orange City, at first denied that he indecently exposed himself but later said the exposure might have been inadvertent, investigators said. He acknowledged finding the woman in front of him “very attractive.”

He was arrested and charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition, indecent exposure, and battery. The judge didn’t find his actions very humorous and slapped him with a $106,500 bail.

Poor guy just wanted some action.

[via Orlando Sentinel]

Image via University of Hartford

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