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I Might Be Out On Brooks Koepka

I could not have been happier with yesterday’s final round at Erin Hills. Not only did the guy I’ve been touting for the last few years around the office and on the Grandex network of podcasts break through with his first major win and tie Rory’s U.S. Open scoring record, but I also swooped in on some last minute 4/1 Sunday action that have my pockets jingling with a little extra coin today. Not exactly life-changing, tell my superiors to “suck it” money, but a solid return on investment comparable to throwing a honey drenched sumo wrestler into one of those Japanese gameshow cash blowing cubes. Koepka could do no wrong in my eyes. Or so I thought.

Now, I know you golfers are fairly new to the weight room, but pounding your chest over a Planet Fitness smith machine is not the look you think it is, Claude. Having a spotter on a self spotting bench for a buck seventy-five? If we actually wanted to further the rhetoric that golfers weren’t real athletes, this would be pretty high on our priority list.

And I just can’t idly sit by as Brooks willingly throws himself to the wolves broadcasting these faux pas for all of the world to see. No, sir. Especially not when I’m offering a buy two get one free online training sesh at DannyRegsFit.com. We’ll cover all the basics like “Should I leave the free weight section?” The answer to that riddle is no. Little freebie for you. We’re also running a special on supplements and merch, too, so make sure to stock up on those BCAAs and grab a tank top while you’re there. It’s time to invest that Mich Ultra money into yourself, Brooks. Let’s talk shop soon.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Video Guy for Grandex Media. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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