I Turned A Bunch Of Nonsense Gronk Tweets Into 7 Thought-Provoking Haikus

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Sometimes I feel like Rob Gronkowski is just a big, lovable, misunderstood meathead. If you peeled Gronk back like an onion, layer by layer, what would you find? Is all the partying and drinking just a cover for his innate sensitivity? Is he really a beautiful, delicate soul withering away inside the body of a gladiator with the public speaking capabilities of an inebriated sixth grader?

I went to his Twitter account and pulled some of his unintelligible tweets, then pasted them together to see if I could extract any kind of meaning behind them. Maybe Gronk, a retail and consumer sciences major at the University of Arizona, is just shielding the world from his poetic prowess because he is embarrassed and ashamed.

Here are seven powerful haikus written by Robert James Gronkowski:

Work outs all day long
Straight chilling and relaxing
Spelt words wrong I guess

This snow is wild
Grind time with DJ no shirt
Tough loss yesterday

Have a great day folks
Don’t forget to eat dessert
Shout out to my mom

Power naps the best
Crunchy peanut butter or creamy
Happy father’s day

Just did some pushups
Work hard to get what you want
Join the Gronktourage

Chilling with my girl
Bout to chow on a nice steak
O heck yea haha

K I’m live let’s go
Gronk flakes best night snack out Lol
Chilling with my girl

File this under “influential literature.”

Image via Shutterstock


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