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Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking: Easter Weekend

porch drinking

I didn’t learn much in church, but I did learn how to sit/stand/kneel/slap myself in the face with it a little bit. I also learned that today is a Good Friday to get shellacked in the sun.

You know the drill. Leave your favorite songs in the comments section (or direct them @TFM_Karl on Twitter) for a chance to be featured on the next edition. The top comment will be dubbed a fan favorite and whatever suggestions I dig the most will receive an honorable mention.

Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way, Waylon Jennings

Suggested by Gerald R. Ford. Your comments are shit but you have good taste in music. Waylon has one of the best voices in country music history. The only thing that makes it better is a few cold ones.

Honorable Mention: Sweet Talking Woman, Electric Light Orchestra

Suggested by FrockFrobster. It takes a minute for this song to get started but once it does you’ll be grooving. Pretty much anything off ELO’s 20 Greatest Hits Compilation is pure heat, and I highly recommend giving it a listen to remember just how talented those cats are.

1. Centerfold, The J. Geils Band

Requested by @salee_alex, a very polite Twitter follower with a heart of gold. The loss of J. Geils Jr. is tragic, but it’s real hard to feel bummed out when you listen to this. Remember him as a man who pined for a woman and eventually ended up jerking it to her picture. I want that on my tombstone.

2. ELEMENT., Kendrick Lamar

Since the album literally dropped this morning, there’s not a video on the Tube that’s not slowed down or awful. Instead, here’s LeBron James flexing his celeb nuts about getting a preview. Kendrick catchphrases abound over a pretty slick beat that never gets out of hand. Still in the process of digesting DAMN. but so far this and HUMBLE. (which came out in March) are vibing with me. You can listen to the whole album on Spotify

3. Hit It Hard, John Daly

It has been seven years and I’m still waiting for another golfer to step on the mic and start beef. John Daly v Ernie Els in a musical battle would go down in history. For all we know, there’s a guy who can hit three hundo and has ungodly bars, just like big John.

4. Never Been Any Reason, Head East

How is it that every non-country genre in the early to mid-70s could have depressing lyrics and still be painfully upbeat? Oh, right, cocaine.

5. Feel Alright, Steve Earle

Speaking of hard drugs, here’s Steve Earle with a classic. You guys hear that Earle and David Simon (The Wire) are teaming up to write a musical about Baltimore’s steel industry? Might be tight.

6. Okayalright, moe.

“I’m feelin’ alright I’m feelin’ okay,” should be everyone’s mantra.

7. Hustler Musik, Lil Wayne

In many ways Tha Carter II is a perfect rap album. It’s balanced and holds up well more than a decade later. Wayne was dope as hell before he started wearing cheetah print and doing cough syrup.

8. Wondering, Widespread Panic

WSMFP and cold beer go together like whiskey and depression. A winning combination since Babylon.

9. She Blew My Mind (69 Times), Rick James

Can we credit Rick James with making 69 jokes popular? Does Gronk owe Rick James a spiritual debt of some sort? Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch? The world may never know.

10. TNT, AC/DC

AC/DC might be more renowned for the Thunderstruck game, but you can do a very similar thing during this song and just pound your beer over the redundant “Oy!” of your friends. Or yell along with them because, let’s face it, that’s the most fun part of this song.

Again, leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to get a little respect. If your song doesn’t make next week’s edition, there’s a good chance it’s already on the list. As always, don’t drink and drive.

Explore the rest of the collection on Spotify…

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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