Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking Part 15

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You know how it goes. You’ve had a long week, rife with classes and work and other responsibilities, but all you want to do is crack a beer and get some sun. Luckily, your good buddy Karl is here to give you the new edition of Porch Jams, all handpicked from the annals of music to perfectly complement your porch brew experience.

Fan Favorites are picked from the top comment from the previous edition.

My favorite is based on whichever suggested track I dig the most.

Be sure to leave your own suggestions in the comments for a chance to be
featured on next week’s list. Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd

Suggested by Vinny_Chase. Pink Floyd has been getting a lot of attention in the comments lately. It’s only fitting that their first feature in this series comes as a Fan Favorite. “Wish You Were Here” is a little melancholy, but it keeps the psychedelic charm associated with a group like Floyd.

Karl’s Favorite: Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes), Edison Lighthouse

Suggested by Shut Up Meg. There’s nothing wrong with an upbeat tune about a good hearted woman. The instrumentals alone set this song apart, but the lyrics remind me of “Hooked On A Feeling.”

1. Walk This Way, Aerosmith ft. Run D.M.C.

I definitely enjoy Run’s take on this song over Steven Tyler dying of a smoker’s cough. Aerosmith is a highly overlooked group in terms of writing lyrics. I’ve been in countless arguments over whether or not the original version of this song was hip-hop, and I’ve won every single time.

2. Allentown, Billy Joel

Another hit from Big Dick Billy. The story of hardworking folks in a big time bust is tragic, but Billy Joel can turn it into a hopeful anthem for people down on their luck. It’s a musical gem, and a good reflection for anyone that has ever been long dicked for doing their best.

3. Limelight, Rush

On a list of cool things Canada has done, Rush is right up there with poutine, dwarf tossing, and fully nude strip joints. Rush caught the Styx treatment, meaning everyone in their era was either calling them posers or rocking face at their concerts. Now, the only people who hate Rush are hipster fucks who grew up jerking it to Phish.

4. Layla, Eric Clapton

I really struggled with whether to go with the original version or the take from “Unplugged,” but you can’t go wrong either way. Anyone who has ever been to a hockey game knows this song makes people go nuts in a way that isn’t too extreme. Throw big dudes with knives on their feet into the equation and it goes to the next level. Still, it’s just as good in the sunshine.

5. Little Green Bag, George Baker Selection

Coming in hot as the theme song to a movie that boasts one of the greatest soundtracks ever compiled, Little Green Bag is a multi-dimensional tune that just won’t quit. It feels like “Come on Eileen” sitting on top of a Simon and Garfunkel track. On paper, that’s strange, but it just flat out works.

6. Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo’ole

Big IZ took the world by storm when he decided to replicate a classic song over ukulele. The classic story of a nice guy calling a radio station to play at 3 a.m. is a fitting tale in music’s lexicon of talented people coming out of the woodwork. Regardless, there are few tunes that will put a smile on your face like this one.

7. Purple Rain, Prince

It took me a long time, but I finally came to terms with including this song in the series. Prince’s death might not have been a big deal to some people, but the rest of the world was crushed. It’s a poignant song about life and love, but somehow it never brought folks down.

8. Baba O’Riley, The Who

The Who were always true to the heart of rock and roll, so it was no surprise that frontman Pete Townshend would name one of their most famous tracks after two of his musical mentors. It’s also no surprise that this song personified teenage angst in the 70’s and beyond. Even if you aren’t a whiny little punk, this song is still sure to get that foot tapping and the beer going down.

9. Tobacco Road, David Lee Roth

David Lee Roth somehow turns a song about being broke as a joke into some serious rock and roll. The Van Halen legend takes people on a trip into the depths of poverty in NC on the wings of a screaming guitar and rambling vocals, all while looking like a complete lunatic. Kick back and let Diamond Dave take you on a rock and roll voyage. It’s downright American.

10. The Eagles, Funk #49

One of Joe Walsh’s best songs from the Eagles days, this tune combines the best of funky overtones with the Eagles’ signature five-part harmony. It’s a jump up and get down type song, so be sure your deck is reinforced with bracers or pledges.

11. Boot Scootin’ Boogie, Brooks & Dunn

This song is a solid dose of ’90s country. Brooks and Dunn have some of the best vocals across every aspect of music, and this track puts them on full display. It’s fun, it’s catchy, and it’s high-quality country.

12. Louie Louie, The Kingsmen

A song that gets to be featured at a Delta rush party is one I can vibe to. Although I still don’t have half a fucking clue what these guys are saying, I get the impression that someone named Louie’s got to go. Regardless, it can be a great jumping off point for the porch or the party.

13. Pancho and Lefty, Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson

Teaming up the dynamic duo of Willie Nelson and The Hag is a sure path to a good time. This song, about a hapless bandit who gets gunned down in the sands of Mexico, will give you some time to think about whether or not crime pays. Nobody sings it like Willie, and nobody ever will.

14. Some Girls Do, Sawyer Brown

A strong frontrunner for ball-cap country song of the century, this is the line that your dad was laying on bad girls as he gave them a drink and took them back to his place to bang (we miss you, PA Guy). Crank it up when that one group of sorority gals walks by, the ones with lower back tattoos and a serious thing for Colombian Bam-Bam. You know the type.

15. Area Codes, Ludacris ft. Nate Dogg

One of the songs that paved the way for the A to dominate modern rap, this track is a certified TFM. Thanks to modern marvels like Tinder and high mileage vehicles, locking down hoes in different area codes has become easier than ever. Thanks Luda, this almost makes up for giving that hack Justice Beaver a path to relevance.

16. Hard to Say I’m Sorry, Chicago

I committed a grievous error last week, guys. I slipped up. By only including fourteen jams on this series, I violated the trust on which our reader-author relationship is based. I’m just… I’m just so sorry. I hope you can forgive me, and I hope that someday we can still be friends.

Just kidding, shit happens. Here’s a sappy song about what I hope is sucking titties. Take a damn joke.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on the next issue. This applies to Twitter and Facebook too, I got eyes everywhere. As always, don’t drink and drive.

Check out the entire series on Spotify.

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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