Ideal Songs for Porch Drinking Part 9

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You know the feeling. It’s the weekend, you’re free of the surly bonds of class and other commitments, and it’s time to have a couple beers on the porch. When that most holy of times comes around, get the system running and play the following to assure you optimize your deck draft experience.

Fan favorites are based on the top comment from the previous week.

My favorite is based entirely on my own inkling from the week before. Be sure to comment songs you want to hear for the upcoming list.

Fan Favorite – Hooked On a Feeling, Blue Swede

Suggested by dabeares. This song is about as feel-good as they come. Rally your pledge chorus to sing along with that kickass “Oogachacka” stuff. Also an excellent song to serenade the womenfolks, if you’re into that.

Karl’s Favorite – Pride and Joy, Stevie Ray Vaughan

Suggested by The Hacksaw. Finally pulled the trigger on the legend Stevie Ray, and it has been a long time coming. There are rockers, rock stars, and rock gods. Mr. Vaughan clearly falls into the third category, and I know he’s selling out every concert beyond the Pearly Gates.

1. Drinkin’ Dark Whiskey, The Steeldrivers

Another modern country band that has some oomph, The Steeldrivers manage to keep a folk sound while giving it a contemporary feel. Dark whiskey and white lies are also inherently F.

2. Stranglehold, Ted Nugent

This song has popped up in comments raging from “You should include Stranglehold, I like it” to “Put Stranglehold on the next list or I’ll kill your mother you idiot,” so here it is. Now please let my loving mother go, you animals.

3. Carolina, Eric Church

Easily one of my favorite songs ever. As a fellow North Carolinian, I can remember when Eric Church started his rise to glory. This jam might not be all that uplifting, but it’s guaranteed to make someone shed a manly tear.

4. Take It Easy, The Eagles

The epitome of “classic”, this song features the vocals of Glenn Frey teamed up with the famous five-part harmony the Eagles made popular. Chances are you’re buckling down for some finals right now, and sometimes you just need to be told to relax. “We may lose, or we may win, but we’ll never be here again.” Rest in peace, Glenn.

5. Life Ain’t Fair and the World Is Mean, Sturgill Simpson

First things first, the song’s name alone is a jam. Unlike such classics as “Hooker With A Penis” or “Pig Snoots and Nehi Red” it actually lives up to its moniker. Simpson, along with having a rocking last name, strikes me as a real outlaw, and I can only hope he runs the table of country music for decades to come.

6. Tell Me When To Go, E40

When the hyphy movement started on the West Coast, E40 was one of the rappers spearheading the movement. The call and response aspect is perfect for porch beers or for house parties. I purposefully didn’t include Keek tha Sneak’s name in the title because his part pales in comparison to E’s.

7. Sail on Sailor, Beach Boys

This song, despite being pretty upbeat, was basically the springboard from which Brian Wilson went temporarily crazy. In a similar fashion, it’s a great springboard from which you can get temporarily blackout.

8. Hay Queen, Barefoot Jerry

From the band that brought you the aforementioned “Pig Snoots and Nehi Red” comes a southern rock banger. Unlike Snoots, this one actually has lyrics and some excellent banjo.

9. Sweet Child O’ Mine, Guns an’ Roses

I know, I know. Low hanging fruit. It doesn’t change the fact that this is one of the greatest songs to shout at the top of your lungs after your first six pack. Also, the ladies love it.

10. Shining Star, Earth Wind & Fire

It’s no September, but EW&F is always capable of bringing the heat. Though it’s a short track, this one’s no exception.

11. Catholic Girls, Frank Zappa

What’s up with rock and rollers and trying to stick it to Catholics? There has to be a good kneel, stand up, sit down joke in there. Zappa, while a little edgy for some, can do unreal things on multiple instruments. He also flat out hated censors, for which I say rock on.

12. The Food, Common ft. Kanye West

I remember this song from Chappelle’s Show, but it truly does feature two of Chicago’s finest rappers. Before Kanye was body-snatched and replaced with this “Yeezy” character, he and Common established themselves as a dynamic one-two punch.

13. Hang Loose, Alabama Shakes

I’m not big on the Shakes, but this song is damn fun. You can’t go wrong with a little blues.

14. Hanginaround, Counting Crows

A staple of both beer drinking and every movie from the mid-90s, Counting Crows are my second favorite group where the lead singer had massive dreadlocks. This song rings especially true for the 8th year senior who really just wants to get the hell out of town.

15. Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett

You knew it was coming, but what’s the fun in throwing every good song on one list? Anyway, Buffett is an icon, I want to be a pirate, and every house that doesn’t have a blender is below bottom tier. I have spoken.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on next week’s list. As always, don’t drink and drive.

Now that you’ve been rocking listening to these jams, let your ears get a taste of the previous versions…

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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