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Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking: Summertime And The Living’s Easy

porch drinking

Summertime and the living’s easy. You have a little time to spend before you settle into the monotony that is either your break job, internship, or the new career that will consume what’s left of your pitiful life before you die of a heart attack at your desk. Either way, there’s living to do. Dr. Karl recommends you use this time to sit on an elevated surface or lakefront and get blitzed out of your mind to the finest music known to God or man.

Leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to get a shoutout on next week’s edition. The top comment from each week will be listed, and whatever track I dig the most will get an honorable mention.

Take two of these and call me in the morning. Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: We Are The Champions, Queen

Suggested by SirCarlosIII. I think he pretty much summed it up in his case for it. “… for one last victory lap before graduating with an average GPA.” Yeah, buddy. Average.

Honorable Mention: Up On Cripple Creek, The Band

Suggested by RedLobster69. Mr. After Dinner Mint comes through again with a rock take on a bluegrass classic.

1. BABYLON, Joey Bada$$ ft. Chronixx

Let the smooth vibes and sunshine wash over you while Joey spits bars about the flaws in government. Anarchy is my shit.

2. R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A, John Mellencamp

Mellencamp does his best Bob Seger impression on a guitar-heavy powerhouse hit that’s sure to get your blood pumping and beer pouring.

3. Pickup Man, Joe Diffie

They say you can tell a lot about a person from their car. You can also tell that Joe Diffie was drowning in tang from that killer mullet/stache combo. Lots of short shorts in this music video, too. All-around winner.

4. Doin Time, Sublime

Peep that Doc Watson reference given new life through the power of ska. That’s magic, folks.

5. Dark Necessities, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Only RHCP could turn the Seinfeld theme into a rock and roll banger.

6. Hootie Hoo, Outkast

Hootie hoo is a better signal for “it’s going down” than yelling “it’s lit” or “Worldstar!” and it’s not even close. Kids these days just don’t exchange fisticuffs like we used to.

7. I’m No Angel, The Gregg Allman Band

How many keyboards does your video need, Gregg? Dude has a Casio for every “g” in his name. Jesus… Also, those chicks look like dudes. Great song, though.

8. Good Vibrations, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch ft. Loleatta Holloway

This one has been a long time coming. May the world never forget that the all-time king of Boston trash had bars in the beginning of his career. If you don’t like it, blow me.

9. All My Ex’s Live In Texas, George Strait

There’s a fantastic version of this from George’s Cowboy Rides Away tour out there that I highly recommend listening to. Only one of my exes lives in Texas. She sucks, and not in the fun way. Up yours, Hailey.

10. Miami, Will Smith

Damn y’all, two of Hollywood’s biggest names on the same list? Call me Lt. Aldo Raine, because this might be my finest work yet. Full disclosure: this song has been stuck in my head since I was eight years old and heard it at a “family funday” at Camp Lejeune. Nothing has been the same since.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments so that your tastes may be judged by the masses. As always, don’t drink and drive.

Check out the rest of the list on Spotify…

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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