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Ideal Songs For Spring Break Porch Drinking

porch drinking

Like a phoenix from the ashes, you arise from your grueling and potentially hungover week with fire in your eyes and a song in your heart. When music meets booze, there’s only one place to go and one thing to queue up. Enter the porch, man’s sanctuary from the trials and travails of life. As you oversee your kingdom, let the sounds of legends past and present wash over you. This is your time. This is porch drinking.

Leave a suggestion in the comments for a chance to be featured on the next edition. The top comment will be dubbed a fan favorite. Honorable mentions go out to whichever track I dig the most.

Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: I Ain’t Drinking, Albert Collins

Suggested by Cartier (I think). Real next level guitar here folks. Batten down the hatches because you’re looking at a veritable tsunami of booze and panty juice to come flowing off your porch and into the streets. Bring a towel.

Honorable Mention: Rock the Boat, Hues Corporation

Suggested by DerekGeeder. I don’t care if this was a joke suggestion, the song’s going on the list. Never discount the importance of a feel good disco banger to help you bounce back from a rough week. Booze helps.

1. Pour Me a Vacation, The Great Divide

I feel bad for the landlocked folks who think being by a lake constitutes time on the water. I’ll take the deadly, shark infested dung heap we call an ocean over a nice lake full of friendly people any day. There are a lot of great vacation drinks out there, but I’ll stick with cheap Mexican beer and half off limes. I know a guy.

2. ATLiens, Outkast

If Atlanta was literally the source of all aliens I wouldn’t be even slightly surprised. Place is wild. Also, colder than a polar bear’s toe nails? That’s what the childrens call “bars”.

3. Funky Bitch, Son Seals

If you feel the need to strut, do it. Nobody will judge you except those cheesedicks across the street. Once you figure out what my man Seals is saying you’ll probably drunkenly chime in. Not for the lyrics, but for the deep guttural timbre of his voice. Dude sounds like a bear.

4. Let It Ride, Bachmann Turner Overdrive

Just answer the damn question.

5. Hip Hop Hooray, Naughty By Nature

Nothing gets the metaphorical party started like a quick “Ay-oh-ay”.

6. Santa Monica, Everclear

Like most songs from the 90s, this song is full of depressing lyrics tossed on top of upbeat guitar. None of it makes a damn bit of sense, but things aren’t supposed to make sense on the porch. They just are.

7. Órale, Los Lonely Boys

These guys are straight wizards with a guitar and they bust out a fair share of lyrical creativity. I love them and want to be their friends.

8. Get Tight, The String Cheese Incident

Band name sounds potentially dirty and so does the title of the song. Don’t worry though guys, it’s just about a swimming hole. No innuendo here.

9. Bossier City, Turnpike Troubadours

I know there are plenty of great Red Dirt artists out there, but I can’t get enough of these guys. It’s raw, it’s catchy, and it’s country. Drink your cares away with Robbie and his pill head girlfriend. The ones from the song. If you have a buddy named Robbie with a pill head girlfriend, find her some help. That being said, I think I’m higher on this song right now than either ‘7&7’ or ‘Good Lord Lorrie’ and that’s saying a lot.

10. Blue Moon of Kentucky, Bill Monroe

After a relaxing day of getting bombed on your porch, as the homies head to bed with their respective dates or hands, you might find yourself gazing at a night sky with only a lonely cigarette. At times like that, there is no song better than Blue Moon of Kentucky as written and performed LIVE by the great Bill Monroe. You’re sure to end the day with a smile in your heart.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on the next edition. As always, don’t drink and drive.

Check out the rest of the list on Spotify…

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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