In The Most Un-American Announcement Ever, NFL Declares There Will Be No Tailgating For This Year’s Super Bowl

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From ESPN:

SECAUCUS, N.J. — Forget about setting up those kegs or buffet tables in the parking lot before this season’s Super Bowl at MetLife Stadium. There will be no tailgating, according to the game’s committee CEO, Al Kelly.

“You will be allowed to have food in your car and have drink in your car,” Kelly said. “And provided you’re in the boundaries of a single parking space, you’ll be able to eat or drink right next to your car. However, you’re not going to be able to take out a lounge chair, you’re not going to be able to take out a grill, and you’re not going to be able to take up more than one parking space. And it’ll all be watched very carefully.”

Thanks, Obama?

The terrorists are winning?

Oh what? Is this a communist country? I thought this was America!?!

I’m not sure exactly what to say here, but the truth is that I doubt this is the first time tailgating has been banned, if not at the very least near impossible, at a Super Bowl. For all we’d like to say about how much college football sells out with its ridiculously named bowl games and absurdly maximized profits at the expense of its players, the NCAA doesn’t have shit on the NFL. There is not a more corporate, more soulless sporting entity in the world than the NFL. This is exemplified at the Super Bowl. The big game may be one of the great American sporting events, but I can honestly say that I have no desire to ever attend one. I’d rather go to the Kentucky Derby with the twenty whiniest PETA members in the world than go to the Super Bowl with my fraternity brothers.

Not only will tailgating at the Super Bowl be impossible, but it sounds like the people who planned how fans will get to MetLife Stadium borrowed their logistics from whichever demon mapped out damned souls’ descent to hell.

There will be only three ways for the expected 80,000 ticket holders to get to the game. The committee will charter buses called the Fan Express, which will cost $51 and pick up and drop off passengers at nine locations around the region. Fans can also take N.J. Transit to the MetLife Stadium stop or be dropped off by vehicles that must have parking passes.

There will be fewer than 13,000 parking spots available for fans.

And hiring a black car, taxi or limo won’t be an option for VIPs who will spend thousands of dollars per ticket. No cars will be allowed near the stadium on game day without parking passes, and any car that drops off a passenger will have to wait at the stadium.

“Nobody’s going to be dropped off by black car,” Kelly said. “You can have a black car, a green car, a white car, a red car as long as you have parking, and the car needs to stay on the premises the entire time.”

Fans who had considered parking farther from the stadium and getting there on foot will not be allowed to enter.

“You cannot walk to the Super Bowl,” Kelly said. “You can get your hotel to drop you off at one of the New Jersey Transit locations or get the shuttle to take you to a Fan Express location, but you cannot walk.”

Yeah, I’m going to give that a hard pass.

Super Bowl parties > Attending the Super Bowl.

Especially a Super Bowl in freakin’ New Jersey.

[via ESPN]

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