Shotgunning beers is an age old fraternity tradition, probably as old as the beer can tab itself. After all, I’m sure it didn’t take long for some alcoholic fraternity innovator to look at the tab and think to himself, “How the fuck can I get all of this in me faster?” Thus, shotgunning beers was born, and is a glorious fraternity pastime to this day.
But there’s a time and a place dammit! You can’t just shotgun a beer wherever you like. There are rules!
Just kidding, we here at TFM highly encourage your obnoxious drinking habits, whenever and wherever they may occur. That said, there are probably still some places that are less appropriate than others to shotgun a beer. The picture below, which was submitted to TFM the other day, perfectly illustrates that. The young fraternity man took a break from his scholarly pursuits to shotgun a beer in the library, and who are we to judge? Maybe the kid needed to take some steam off. The library shotgun I’m cool with. But apparently this kid routinely shotguns beers in less than appropriate settings…throughout time and space even. Here are a few examples:
This is understandable. He’s probably all jacked up on Adderrall and trying to level out the uppers with a downer. It’s responsible, really.
A MADD Meeting
It’s fine. He’s not driving, just drinking.
In A Women’s Restroom
Kicking in the door to the lady’s room and shotgunning a beer isn’t the sort of power move women appreciate. Except for the good ones.
The administration would crap their special Mormon underwear.
The Exact Moment You Find Out That Your Inheritance Is Coming Sooner Rather Than Later
It’s a little insensitive…
As Your Strike Three Motion While Umping A Little League Game
They’re there to watch the kids, not you.
While Your Fraternity House Burns To The Ground
Actually, assuming everyone lived, I really don’t have any better suggestions for what to do.
On The Job
Though I’m pretty sure this was acceptable in the 1920s. The Irish had it written in to their union contracts.
At A Presidential Motorcade
Your sudden movements are distracting the Secret Service from watching open windows and grassy knolls.
In The Middle Of The Street
But I’ll admit, that’s the sort of protest I’d be interested in participating in. That might literally be the only way to get me involved.
Third World Countries
Just stay away.