Ohio State Professor Didn’t Care He Was Injured In Terrorist Attack Because, “We Still Beat Michigan”

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Nice Move

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I have a new favorite college professor, and I haven’t even ever had him for a single class. I don’t need to. It’s clear Ohio State University’s Dr. William Clark is a badass.

Clark, a professor emeritus in the college of engineering, was injured in Monday’s attack on campus that left 11 people wounded and the attacker dead. When interviewed by a local news station, Clark proved he’s a Buckeye through and through.

Now, I don’t know how badly Clark was wounded (supposedly it wasn’t too bad but we’ll get to that shortly), but here’s how I hope this interview went down:

TV REPORTER: Dr. Clark, can you comment on today’s tragic events?

CLARK LYING IN HOSPITAL BED: Come…come closer, my child.

TV REPORTER: Yes, Dr. Clark?

CLARK: I…I am very weak. It’s getting cold.

TV REPORTER: I’m sorry, Dr. Clark.

CLARK: But I … I just wanted to say, that we’re a great university and… and …

TV REPORTER: And what, sir?

CLARK: And we beat the fucking pants off that weak ass school up north! I WAS NEVER AFRAID OF DYING! YOU CAN’T SPELL MURDER WITHOUT “M” AIN’T THERE AIN’T NO Ms ALLOWED HERE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*Clark springs out of hospital bed, push kicks heart monitor over, runs out*

Of course the reporter had to clean up the original quote a little bit but he or she still got the message across.

Still not convinced of Clark’s badassery? Try this on for size.

The Columbus Dispatch:

William Clark left a trail of bloody footprints behind him as he walked down into the basement of Watts Hall Monday morning.

The emeritus professor’s office is there, and he didn’t notice he was bleeding until a student next to him pointed it out, the engineering professor said during a news conference on the Ohio State University campus [Tuesday] afternoon, soon after Clark was released from Wexner Medical Center.

Clark recalled not realizing he was hurt until the student pointed it out.

“My legs were sore but I didn’t have any particular pain,” he said. “I was surprised to see the blood.”

Yep. Dr. William Clark is a fucking baller. Buckeye ‘til he dies which, as he’s proved, isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

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