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An Investigation Into The Word “Mansplaining”

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Mansplaining is a fairly new word that I’ve seen thrown around pretty often on social media this past year or so. For those of you who haven’t heard of this word, it’s slowly becoming more popular in feminists’ vernacular — usually in an angry/argumentative manner. So when I made the decision to construct this poorly written article and do further research on this particular subject, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the updated Merriam-Webster dictionary has a definition for it.

Here’s how Merriam Webster defines the informal verb mansplain:
“(of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.”

So basically it’s when a man sounds condescending dropping truth bombs on these hoes.

Which is, of course, an extremely cruel and disgusting thing to do. But this relatively new term term seriously fascinates me. So I decided that TFM should cover this pressing subject. Originally, one of our female staff writers was going to cover it but I explained to her that I know more about it.

For all the people here that don’t necessarily realize what a brilliant expert I am at everything, allow me to mansplain mansplaining. And to any women reading this who doesn’t understand the term and want to do their own independent research, don’t. I will explain it. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.

You’re probably thinking, “This guy is an asshole. He probably doesn’t believe in mansplaining. Or, if he does, he probably loves it. He probably mansplains all the time.”

Well, actually…. As an alleged man, I really want to find out how to AVOID mansplaining. I don’t want to explain totally obvious things and be condescending. That would be terrible.

I’m not a misogynistic man by any means. And by the way, for anyone who doesn’t know what “misogynistic” means, don’t worry, I’ll explain, its another word for sexist. And for anyone that doesn’t know what “sexist” means, don’t worry, I’ll explain. It means you have a prejudice against women. And for anyone that doesn’t know what “prejudice” means, don’t worry, I’ll explain. It basically means bigotry. And for anyone who doesn’t know what “bigotry” means, don’t worry, our education system clearly failed you and you’re a lost cause.

The point is, for any MEN who are reading this, here are my tips on how to avoid mansplaining. If you don’t wanna mansplain, then do NOT do any of these things under ANY circumstances.

Don’t explain things

Seriously. Don’t. Ever. Never give any advice, or instructions. If you ever have any knowledge of anything, don’t ever say it out loud. You sexist piece of shit.

Don’t talk at all

Only misogynists talk. Never say anything ever. Don’t say shit.

Don’t be a man

Seriously. If you don’t wanna be a mansplaining piece of shit, cut your dick off with a chainsaw and throw it in the face of a mansplainer.

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Wally Bryton

TFM's most beloved writer

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