News

Is This The Most Terrifying, Graphic Tinder Conversation Of All-Time?

shutterstock_262033613

I’m going to warn you now, the below Tinder conversation will send shivers down your spine and make your hair stand on end. I’ve been clenching my kegel muscle here in my cubicle for the last 30 minutes straight because it’s the only coping mechanism my body has in response to such anti-penis propaganda (you’ll see what I mean soon enough). My body is currently stuck in one long cringe that I’m afraid I’ll never escape from. So, instead of trying to bring myself up out of it, I’ve decided to just bring you guys down to my level.

Well, here we go. So a guy, who has asked that I censor his name, matched with this girl.

tinder1

You’ve got to expect some crazy shit if you right swipe a girl with that kinda bio, right? I mean, how can you not?

2tinder

Oh. Guess that’s how.

Enjoy.

tinder3

tinder4

tinder5

tinder6

Welp, time to go throw all the string cheese out of the fridge in the office break room.

What kind of sick, twisted person thinks of all that? The descriptions she gives of her planned-out atrocities forces your subconscious to imagine those things being done to you, which has landed me in my current uneasy, anxious, and cross-legged state. I think I’m gonna vomit.

What’s wrong with a normal dick, with the skin on and everything? I mean, sure, if she wants to cut off his foreskin that’s fine, since dudes these days shouldn’t have that whole mess going on down there, but his regular dick skin? That’s just cruel and unusual. Dude needs that shit.

I pray for humanity. If you want to see more bizarre Tinder conversations, check out this week’s edition of Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines.

Image via Shutterstock

Email this to a friend

Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Total Frat Move and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

29 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account

Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

Latest From The TFM Store

(If you like this shirt, buy it and we'll make it.)

New Stories

Load More