ISIS Commander Mocked For Looking Like A Popular Middle Eastern Drunk Food

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Nice Move

This is sort of like the opposite of finding an image of Jesus in your grilled cheese, I guess.

ISIS commander Abu Wahib, whose beard and formidable unibrow make him look like an unfrozen caveman terrorist, was photographed recently somewhere in Iraq’s Anbar province wearing some weird brown military fatigues and presumably ordering the executions of Christians, gay people, puppies, stuffed animals, and probably Strawberry Shortcake too.

The photograph circulated and once it reached the eyes of anti-ISIS activist group Raqqa is Being Slaughtered (not the catchiest name, though certainly to the point), its members noticed something interesting. Wahib, that fucking clown shoe, looked like a doner kebab all dressed up in his dumb, brown fatigues. Check the comparison for yourselves.

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Pretty spot on, though I hate to have the good name of doner kebabs (or kebaps) sullied by this terrorist who looks like he takes a straightening iron to his beard. If you haven’t had a doner kebab, holy shit, they are fantastic. I’ve heard they are a popular late night/drunk food in Europe and the Middle East, though my experiences with them have been mostly sober dining at a place called Vert’s here in Texas. They’re basically a bread pocket filled to the brim with beef, lamb, or chicken and whatever else you want. And despite the copious amounts of slow cooked meat, they’re surprisingly healthy. They’re basically the perfect meal. I’d love them even if Yum! brands started a kebab chain, renamed them MEAT POCKETZ, and started filling them with jalapeño bacon poppers and meat lover’s pizza fillings.

So I guess the message here is threefold: 1) ISIS commander Abu Wahib looks like a stupid, human kebab. 2) Eat more kebabs. And, 3) I hope that shit pile dies soon.

[via The Daily Mail]

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