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IUP Phi Psi Brings Friend Over To The Fraternity House, Friend Proceeds To Knife Dudes

indiana university of pennsylvania phi kappa psi

When “Who do you know here?” is the only barometer by which you measure someone’s suitability for being in your house, some folks are going to slip through the cracks. After all, sometimes, it’s the ones who do know someone who are the most dangerous. Case in point:

From The Indiana Gazette:

An Indiana man accused of attacking members of the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity with a knife during the weekend has been ordered to appear for a hearing April 12 in Indiana District Court.

According to a criminal complaint filed Monday morning, Danish Ali swung a knife and nicked one of the fraternity members on the hand during an altercation at 3:43 a.m. Sunday in the fraternity house at 220 S. Seventh St. Ali, 26, arrived as a guest of one of the members, according to Indiana Borough police, but was intoxicated and was ordered to leave when he “began to trash the residence.”

Ali’s host, Nick Halula, told police that Ali pulled a knife after he and several other frat brothers told him to leave. Frat member Grant Palmer told investigators that Ali left the house then returned through the rear door and charged at the residents while swinging an open knife. Palmer suffered a small cut on his left hand, Officer Joshua Henning reported in the charging documents.

Police found the fraternity members still struggling to detain Ali when officers arrived and took him into custody.
Matthew Moyer, a resident at the Phi Kappa Psi house, said he took the knife from Ali during the struggle and gave the weapon to investigators, Henning reported. According to the complaint, Ali suffered cuts above his left eye and on the fingers of his left hand, and denied having a knife during the altercation.

Love him claiming that he never had that knife. That’s risk management 101. “Deny, deny, deny.” It’s one man with a bloodied hand’s word against another (uninjured) man’s. Jury could go either way on that one. Playing dumb is the right move.

Can you imagine how much shit you’re getting right now if you’re the brother who invited a knife murderer into the house? “Hey guys, this is my boy Danish. He’s chill.” Then Danish proceeds to get plastered on the fraternity’s dime before whipping out his shiv and thrusting at everyone in sight. That’s pretty much worst case scenario when it comes to inviting your GDI friend to a fraternity function.

This never would’ve happened if I was in charge. I bounce here at TFM HQ; nine hours a day, five days a week, and no evildoers get by me. I can smell crime, like the protagonist in that M. Night Shyamalan screenplay Mac and Charlie wrote in It’s Always Sunny. One time I put one of those bike gang dudes in a headlock. He wound up just being a Jimmy John’s delivery guy, but I don’t take chances when it comes to protecting this office.

The IUP Phi Psis could clearly use a guy like me.

[via The Indiana Gazette]

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