Alpha Epsilon Pi at Brown University did something for all of last week that I couldn’t do for a day: gave up meat. In what was called the PETA2 “Vegan Frat Challenge,” the entire brotherhood went full veghead.
“The brothers of Alpha Epsilon Pi are part of a global trend of cruelty-free, eco-friendly vegan eating,” PETA2 senior director Marta Holmberg said. “PETA2 is proud to team up with them to show how everything from buffalo ‘wings’ to breakfast burritos can be dished up without any meat, eggs, or dairy foods.”
I’m kinda torn on this one.
On the one hand, being charitable is dope. I can’t get enough of it. I donate my seed over at the sperm bank once a week every week, free of charge, because I just love the sweet, sweet feeling of giving that courses through the body when you’re being a great person. Goddamn, I’m a selfless human being. You should all aspire to be a little bit more like me every day in that regard.
On the other hand, though, meat is frat. I once wrote a Pulitzer Prize-worthy piece entitled Vegetarians Need To Just Shut Up that is required reading in some esteemed literary circles. We are all biologically tuned to eat meat, and I think that anybody who advocates for alternatives to eating meat is an unnatural sack of shit. Sure, it’s murder, but so are political assassinations, and last I checked, everybody still loves Inglorious Basterds.
Good job on the charity, I guess. Unless you guys didn’t raise any money via this stunt. Then never mind..
Image via Brown University