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J. J. Watt Is The Closest Thing We Have To A Real-Life American Superhero

JJ

It’s no secret that JJ Watt is the most awesome American to walk the face of the earth since George Washington. (George Washington was the first President of the United States.) Watt is basically a real-life superhero. These are facts, not contestable opinions.

It’s not his fault the Houston Texans have failed to acquire a quarterback capable of completing a forward pass during his career, so don’t come at me with that “he hasn’t won anything” nonsense. He wins the Super Bowl of life every single fucking day. Before you even wake up, roll your pathetic ass over, throw up in a trashcan, and sit in the shower contemplating where it all went wrong while running late to your 1:00pm biology class, Justin James Watt has already accomplished more than you will in an entire week.

Now, out of the kindness of his generous and caring heart, JJ is giving you the opportunity to at least dress like a winner with the newly released Mizzen+Main JJ Watt Collection.

Sure, you might not be a lightning-fast monster human with unbelievable athletic prowess that literally causes elite quarterbacks to have bed-wetting nightmares, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look sharp as hell. Looking good is the first step to feeling good, and then actually being good. Peep these threads. This is the best of the best in menswear.

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You can click on any of those pictures to shop right now, because, just like Mr. Watt, I am a public servant and philanthropist.

It’s time to quit looking like a dickhead at the bar. Do yourself a favor and grab at least a couple of these great looking, summer-friendly shirts to step up your wardrobe game for next semester. You can check out the entire JJ Watt Collection by clicking here.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, unbiased Rockets fan, fair-weather Astros fan, and sad Texans fan who attended the 2017 Masters.

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