Johnny Heisman Sits Courtside for Mavs Game, Doesn’t Care What You Think About It

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Nice Move

It’s as if Johnny Manziel is cramming a life’s worth of the greatest shit a common man will ever get to experience into a single semester of college — like he’s cashing in his Make-A-Wish bucket list, but his list is way too long and his requests are laughably outrageous, and instead of a deadly disease, he’s infected with a howitzer on his right shoulder, some Steve Young-like scrambling ability, and impossible pocket presence and escapability.

We’ve covered some of his unimaginable tear through the 2012 fall semester (here, here & here), and none of those even include the Heisman trophy on his mantle, hanging out with Osama bin Harden in the Rockets locker room, or the handsy run-in with the sexy Megan Fox. He’s having a good time, guys. And he’s only a freshman.

The latest item to be scratched off the Manziel “coolest shit ever” to-do list is a court-side seat for last night’s Mavericks-Heat game. But sometimes being in the spotlight can be a bitch. His presence in the most coveted seat in sports immediately threw up a red flag, after all, court-side at an NBA game is not only the most coveted, but the most expensive, as well.

Of course, the NCAA doesn’t allow for any freebies — not even a ham & cheese sandwich — to be given to amateur, college athletes, and harsh repercussions are the result of violating the rule.

Let’s see what Steve Kerr had to say about it during last night’s broadcast:

“How does a college kid get court-side seats to a Mavs game? Those are expensive seats. I’m just gonna throw that out there.”

While I do appreciate the SEC jab in there, why are you sweatin’ this kid, Steve? Are you sure you know what you’re talking about?

Playing off the predetermined mindset that all college athletes come from modest means is an inadequate argument in this instance. Manziel isn’t your typical college football player that comes from a meager background. The Manziels have money, oil money, as evidenced by their East Texas family oil business, The Oil Palace. Throw in a Texas A&M stipend and the lack of any financial responsibilities that a full scholarship pisses away, and shelling out a grand or so to watch ‘Bron up and close and personal at the American Airlines Center actually isn’t a reason to get suspicious.

Please note the awesome Longhorn photobomb on the right.

Man, Johnny F. is just stylin’ on everyone. Look at the ‘Bron point with the confident smirk. If he attends another NBA game court-side, I wish he’d bring his Heisman trophy with him and set it on his lap for the entire game. Just stick it right up the media’s ass. Maybe even eat some caviar and pop bottles down there.

And what does Manziel have to say about this non-story?

Hear that, Steve Kerr? Stop hating. Shit, it was even the guy’s birthday. Move along. Nothing to see here. But even though I laid it out, and it’s easy to connect all the dots here, the media and public pitchforks are still out.

I understand you, Football.





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  1. 0
    William Fuckner

    Here’s a cool story for y’all. So, I met Johnny Manziel at a party in Kerrville, TX when he was a senior in high school. He went to TIvy and I had a lot of friends who attended school with him. My sister and I walked in to the party and I started talking with him, because I had heard of him (he was being recruited a lot by this time). He was upset that my sister didn’t say hello to him, and he started getting angry. My sister overheard us speaking, so she said hi to him. He then proceeded to walk away and called my sister a “dick”. He is a douche. And also a lot of my friends that went to Tivy said he was the biggest douche bag ever.

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 3 years ago

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